Dear You,

Our love story was my favorite. It was you and me against the world, and I was convinced we were invincible. We overcame the obstacles that got thrown at us, and I always thought you were going to be by my side through everything. My confidence in us was so strong that when my Daddy asked me one day if you were “The One,” I naively, without hesitation, told him that you were.

But then things got too complicated. Life got in the way. We were too much and not enough all at the same time. And despite the best of intentions, our relationship just couldn't last. You chose to give up on us. On me. Watching you walk away was one the hardest things I have ever been through.

I ate lots of chocolate, cried in the shower, got emotional over every love song that came on the radio, and complained to my friends/Mom constantly. It was brutal; it wasn’t how I expected or hoped our story would end. How could you just up and leave? Why wasn’t I good enough for you to stay?

Time passed, and slowly but surely, I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and put my big girl pants on. I realized that feeling pain didn't make me weak; it made me human. I came to the realization that it was okay to feel sad, but it wasn’t okay to not feel good enough. Because I am more than good enough. Anyone would be lucky to get wrapped up in my beautiful, chaotic life.

You leaving has taught me so many lessons, and for that, I am grateful to you. Now I understand that no matter how much you plan for the future, plans are just plans, and plans change. Now I know that sometimes people make promises they can't keep. Now I realize that a relationship needs more than love in order to grow. You can love someone with your whole heart, but sometimes, it's just not enough. And that's okay. I've learned how to love and be loved, but also that there's more to life than being in a relationship.

Your absence has made me realize that I don't need anyone. I am strong, I am beautiful, I am independent. I am who I am, unapologetically, no matter who walks out on me. Your absence reminded me that loving myself should always come first. I deserve to love me as fiercely as I loved you.

Sometimes the thought of you still causes my eyes to sting with tears and my throat to tighten up; our memories still knock the breath out of me. It would be a lie to say that I am not still hurting over you. But now, I refuse to let that stop me from living my life. I owe it to myself to be everything I can be.

I hope when my name comes up in passing, you smile to yourself and remember the memories we created together. I hope you remember the crazy way we loved each other and constantly laughed about everything. I hope you don’t have any regrets because there’s no point in wondering what might have been.

This isn’t an “I hate you” letter. I am writing this because I don’t want to be bitter anymore. Instead, I choose to move forward. I choose to love me. I choose to be thankful for the time we spent together and the lessons I learned during our relationship, and afterwards, when our relationship crumbled. You're the story I'll tell my future daughter about when she's curled up in bed, crying over her first love.

I hope wherever you are at this moment, and whoever you become in the future, you are happy. Thank you for playing a part in me discovering who I am and who I am destined to be.

I will always hold you in that special place in my heart. xoxo

Love, Me