Dear 13-Year-Old Me,
At 13 you have just started 8th grade. You have, or are about to have your first boyfriend. You have what you think is a close-knit circle of friends that you eat lunch with every day. Your parents are annoying and your siblings are annoying and you just can't wait to be an adult. Stop.
The friends you are so close with now won't be your best friends forever. You still love them, but you talk to maybe two of them now. You think they're the most important people in your life at 13, but almost none of them are standing beside 20-year-old you. You don't need to try to fit in. You don't need to worry about your outfit every day, the size of your clothes, or how you act. They like you anyway, and it won't change how close you are in the future.
The boy you are sure you love will break your heart. It will be public. It will hurt. You will feel alone, like there is no one in your corner. I know it doesn't make it hurt any less, but I promise you the pain will subside. You will feel like you again. Just not for a really long time.
Dad is going to hurt you. A year from now you'll hate him. You won't understand and you'll tell him you never want to see him again. You'll feel hurt, betrayed, and lied to for a long time. You won't even want to look at him. This gets better too. You can't forget what he did, but you forgive him anyway, the best your teenage mind can.
Mom loves you and cares about you. You say you hate her. She annoys you. She wants to know your business and you fight. All. The. Time. Despite this, she really does care. You won't know it for a long time, and even after that, it will still feel like she isn't on your side sometimes. I would advise you to keep your mouth shut, but I know you won't. You'll mouth back. You'll yell and argue and make every step of the journey a journey in itself. You'll feel bad for fighting, but will be too hurt to tell her so. Instead, you'll spend years wishing she'd reach out, so you might come to an understanding and become closer.
Warning: These things all happen at the same time. Your world will seemingly crash down around you. You will feel like you don't have anywhere to turn. You will hurt. You will cry. A lot. You will fall asleep every night for years with fresh tears on your pillow.
It gets better. I know you're rolling your eyes, but it does! You meet a few new friends that stick by your side. You fall in love, but for real this time. You forgive your dad. You learn to communicate with your mom. Oh, and your pesky little sister becomes your best friend. You graduate 2nd in your class, and receive a full ride to a local university. You travel. You laugh. You learn to love life again.
If I could actually go back in time and warn you of all the hardships you will soon face, I wouldn't. You need those hard times. Every time you feel like you aren't good enough. Every heartache. Every fight with your mom. They make you who you are today. You still have a long way to go, but you've already come so far. Don't give up. Don't let these hardships get you down. Don't stop fighting. One day, a few years from now, you'll wake up and realize that those hard times are over and you're finally happy. And you come out of it all stronger than ever.
