Consent. As a college sophomore the question of consent is something I have encountered many times. And, in all of those encounters one thing has become blatantly clear. People don't know what consent is, they don't understand it and they don't try to.
This is not just frat boys, but the majority of individuals. It is frightening how many girls don't understand what consent is. How many girls feel that they can't be upset about something, because they consented to it.
No matter how many times these individuals have heard the true meaning of consent, it still does not seem to sink in. But, I will try to impose the true meaning of consent on all individuals, of every age so that hopefully society will begin to understand and respect it.
Consent, simply put, means agreeing to do something. This agreement has to be given in a positive, and not a negative way, meaning it is not the absence of a no that qualifies as consent but the definite agreement of the word yes. It also means that consent cannot be given in the form of a grudging yes after an individual has already repeatedly said no. If someone has said no to something, and you continue to pressure them until they a) stop saying no or b) say yes you have not gotten consent.
Consent can be given after being asked the FIRST time. If your partner says no to something and you continue to ask, you already know the answer and are now just pressuring the individual. Repeatedly asking will result in an answer that has been altered due to your pressure, and that answer can no longer be counted.
Consent can only be given in a sober state. An individual cannot give consent under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or any other judgement inhibiting substance. Therefore, engaging in relations while someone is in an intoxicated state means that you are doing so without consent. This is always. No matter if you know the individual, have been friends with the individual, or are in a relationship with the individual.
Consent is not an abstract concept. It is an easily discernible fact. Consent is achieved when an individual positively agrees to an action, when an individual is not intoxicated, and when their answer has been given without any alteration by the person asking them.
One thing individuals don't understand is that pressuring people to do things, and then getting a yes from that pressure is not an actual yes.
If I asked someone to give me a 100 dollars and they said no, and the I continued to pester them. Telling them they had to, what's the big deal, you've done it before, it's me c'mon you need to, you gave me 50 last week so now you should give me 100, you seemed to want to give it to me an hour ago, why are you being so cheap, why are you doing this, c'mon people give money all of the time, it's normal.
If I now get a 100 dollars that is not because they wanted to give it to me, but because I made that person.
This is the same thing with consent. The same questions are asked, as in my 100 dollar example, and the same excuses are given. So whatever you have coerced a person into doing after all that is NOT being done with consent.
Please, learn the meaning of consent. Memorize it, worship it, live by it. Please stop forcing individual's to do things under the misconception that as long as they don't say no they are fine with it. And, please know that you never have to do anything you are uncomfortable with, or don't want to do. If someone makes you do something that you aren't comfortable with, you shouldn't be with them in the first place.