Yes, you heard that right, my 103-year-old grandma. Well, great grandma that is. Her name is Mary Scorpio and she lives in Rhode Island, where she has spent a good portion of her life. It is no secret that a hundred and three years is a long time for someone to live, much longer than most people live. To put just how long one hundred and three years is, you can actually take history classes that don't cover as much time as she has been around for, and along with that level of time comes an equal (if not greater than) level of knowledge. I felt that it would be a crime that this level of knowledge be kept to just myself, so in this article, I will talk about a few of the greatest lessons I've learned from my time with her!
While this will technically be a "list", I am only going over a few, five to be exact, lessons I've learned from Mary. I am not writing these by level of importance to me, but more so how they appear in my mind! They also often will intertwine, with reoccurring themes! So, without further ado, here we go!
How to handle stress. It is no secret that stress is not a fun thing to be a part of. Stress is a very toxic thing to have in your life, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You may be wondering, "Brendan, where is the life lesson? I know that I need to handle stress!" Well, my friend, that's what Mary has taught me, how to properly handle stress. She has taught me to laugh, no matter what obstacles I face. When she first told me this, I was about 14, and I kind of shook it off, cause that's something you kind of expect someone to say.
As I grew older, and life seemed to only get more serious, I learned that the one thing that never changes is that laughter would brighten up my day, no matter how it's presented. Whether is be "that one friend" that always makes jokes out of everything (I'm looking at you, Masum) or just taking time out of my day to watch videos on YouTube of whatever teenage Brendan found funny, laughter seemed to make every problem I had go away, however temporary it may be. As a future counselor, the idea of humor helping with stress is very legitimate, but often not talked about. Mary teaching the importance of laughter will influence how I am as not only a counselor, but a friend and person.
Money is nothing in the grand scheme of life. It seems as time moves on, and society grows, one thing that always grows with it is how money obsessed people become. We are completely infatuated with money and material items, that they seem to forget what really matter. Mary put the idea in my head, mostly indirectly that material items can only take you so far. Up until this point, I wanted the nice house, the fancy car, and all the things that showed people that I had money. After spending time with Mary, It sunk in that when I die no one is going to talk about how big my house is, or how nice my car is. They will, however, talk about the memories they had with me, and the adventures I went on while I was alive, so I structured my life around the stories behind the pictures and not the items in them.
Finding peace. As a Buddhist, the idea of finding peace is a staple of life. I've spent years learning how to be peaceful, and how to find peace in any situation, but I don't have Buddhism to thank for that, I have Mary. See, I was not a very confident middle schooler or early high schooler, and I think Mary knew that, cause grandparents just know those things. We talked about life, and I didn't even mention my confidence (or lack thereof) to her, but she talked about finding peace in life instead of confidence, and it changed my life. I had tried everything in the book to learn how to believe myself, and nothing worked until I learned to find peace. I found that as I learned to become more at peace with myself and the universe around me, that this subtle confidence grew inside of me, and instead of becoming over-confident like I always feared, I learned to love myself and accept that I may never be who other people want me to be.
Accepting that death is a part of life. Death is maybe the hardest thing to deal with in life. The closer you grow to someone, the harder it is to accept that they are not always going to be a part of your life, no matter how hard you want them to be. Being alive for over a hundred years, Mary has seen a lot of death, but even though she misses everyone, she doesn't let it eat at her. She talked to me about lost family members, friends, and even children, and I couldn't help but ask how does that not eat at her, and she said something I will never forget. She told me that I view death as a negative when it is not meant to be one. She taught me one thing that never changes about life, is that it moves on, so instead of being upset over time lost, I could celebrate time well spent. This led me to spend more time with both those close to me, and complete strangers in order to not only have things to celebrate during a loss, but give those around me something to celebrate when I move on to what's next.
Blueberries. I shit you not, blueberries. When I mentioned to a few close people to me that I wanted to write this article, everyone I talked to told me to mention one thing and one thing only, blueberries. Many things I have mentioned in this article had to do with the mental, emotional, and spiritual ways to increase longevity, but I didn't focus too much on the physical aspect of longevity, until now. I have not spent much time learning the actual physical benefits of blueberries (I really should at some point) but when someone over a hundred years old tells you to eat blueberries, you best mindlessly trust them! (I have a container of them in my fridge right now actually!)
You may be thinking at this point, "Brendan, why did you say all this? Like it's cool that you learned all this, but why share it?" Well, not everyone has a Mary, and not everyone gets the chance to learn these lessons, or they learn them too late. So please, use these to help yourself however possible! These are all personal lessons that Mary has taught me. If you're reading this Mary, thank you. As per usual, if you do not agree or like my life lessons, you are completely entitled to your own opinion, but how could you look at the wonderful lady in this picture and tell her that!
