Dad, it's been almost eight months since I last felt your warm hug, since I last heard your calming voice, and perhaps since the last time that I felt completely whole. You see Dad, I took our last day together for granted. Looking back on it now, I took a lot of our time together for granted. I was living such an oblivious life that I didn't notice that you were fading away right in front of me. Of course no one could have known that your time here on earth would be cut so short, but that never stopped the guilt from eating me alive at night for months following your death. Even through all of the pain though, I know that I have grown so much as a person since that fateful December night. I have learned so much about myself that I don't think I could have had it not been for losing you.
1. People will come and go
No matter how hard you hold onto people that you care about, people are like the seasons. They will come into your life and if you are lucky, you will enjoy your time with them to the fullest. But in the end, the summer will always fade into fall and you will have to learn to say goodbye.
2. There isn't any point on focusing all of your energy on the negatives in life
When I first received the news of your passing, I thought for sure that I was drowning and that I would never find the surface. I was surrounded by all of the bad things about losing my Dad at seventeen that I never stopped to realize how lucky I truly was to get to know you in the first place. This happens so often in life. So many people focus on such small things that they fail to realize the beauty around them.
3. Speak your mind
If I have just one regret in life, it is not telling you how great of a Dad you really were to me. I never really thought it was an important thing to tell someone. Now that you are gone though, I have never wanted to tell someone something more in my entire life. Sure I told you I loved you often, but that didn't mean that you knew what you meant to me.
4. Life is short; don't take it for granted
This lesson right here may very well have been the biggest lesson that you have ever taught me. Growing up, I always felt invincible. Even recently I somehow felt like the people I loved would be able to somehow escape death. This lead to me thinking that there was always a tomorrow to go have fun and see the people I loved most. I spent so much time at work promising myself that I could go hang out with friends after I found time, or I would come to Lansing to see you when I had enough spare time. I didn't quite understand how important it was to make time for them. But now I realize that there isnt always a tomorrow and that if I want to see someone, I need to make room for them in my life. Because one day, I could be regretting wasted time.
Dad, losing you is the hardest thing I have had to do in my eighteen years of living. But it has been a journey to make me a better person. There is never, nor will there ever be, a day that goes by that my heart doesn't break at the thought of you. But I know that you are somewhere up there watching over me and making sure I am on the right path. Thank you for everything. I love you.
Love,
Your shorty
