I became a dance minor after a four year hiatus of not dancing at all. To be honest, I love dance, and out of all the dances, tap will always be number one in my heart. Being a former advanced tap dancer that placed in three competitions in middle school and high-school age made it hard for me to have to turn back the clock and start over. Through the years I have experimented with many dance forms like tap (the one I stuck with for every year), four years of Jazz, two years Ballet, one year Irish Step Dance, and one year of Hip-Hop in my childhood from five to age eighteen, but becoming a dance minor has taught me more than just how to improve my dance skills again.
To be honest, what made me decide to become a dance minor was mainly my advisor. I was told I needed to have something to break up my English classes so I wouldn't take on too much. I headed his advice because I was 1/4 of the way done by that point, but that didn't mean that I didn't question my decision. I questioned my decision for quite a long time. For a while I was hesitant to announce my English major and Dance minor, but that wasn't because I had shame for the program that I met a lot of great people and also found joy from, it was because I had shame about not being able to do as much as I used to be able to do and start over, but sometimes rewinding the clock isn't as bad as you'd think.
When I had to rewind the clock and learn how to even leap on my left side again and start over on tap moves like a one foot pull back on my left foot, I had insecurities and worry because I lost all muscle memory on my left side, but what can you expect for having a four year hiatus? My lesson was that if you like something so much, all that matters is that you enjoy it and you want to learn. Comparing yourself to how you were or others will only make you feel worse. Choosing to continue I had a few lessons and this was one of them.
Pulling myself up by my boot string may have been one lesson that I will hold to my heart for years to come, but I have also learned that you can learn a lot about yourself. It doesn't matter if you're a dancer or in the minor, finding out what you catch onto more and what makes your heart sing can help you grow and discover who you are. Through my years, I've discovered that I didn't like hip-hop, not dancing in that style anyway, but I had an ironic discovery that I didn't expect. Tap may be one of my first loves because of the rhythms we can make with the shoes, but I've also started to love ballet. Going to ballet makes me very happy, and my body catches on to that quicker than Jazz. Even though I like Jazz, it doesn't hold a flame to tap or ballet for me, and even though I am no expert, it taught me the lesson that if you really like something, it's never too late to improve skills or learn something you like or love, because you can sometimes find new loves too.
Besides finding new loves, not holding onto ego, and letting yourself discover who you are more, my final lesson is to let yourself be imperfect. Being a perfectionist that overanalyzes every thing, this was one of my hardest lessons, because if I moved wrong, I'd be very hard on myself, and sometimes, I even psyched myself out before doing things, then in return, I looked like a fish that needed to be thrown back into the water, but I should have just owned my "fish" moves when I messed up and let myself mess up because nothing in life is ever perfect. Perfection doesn't exist. I learned that from my many attempts to learn more and grow, but my biggest growth lesson is that nobody can ever be perfect, so let go of ego. The best you can do is own the "fish" moves, pull up your boot strings, and dance like you never were a fish flopping around in need for water. Don't psyche yourself out, just breathe, just be, and more importantly, let yourself grow into the person you're meant to be.
