This past weekend, my girlfriend and I decided to conduct a social experiment at our university. We re-downloaded Tinder and switched our preferences to include men to see what kinds of responses we would get from straight guys who matched with us.
Both of our bios mentioned in some capacity that we were lesbians, already had a girlfriend, and were only looking for friends.
Yet even with all of this forewarning, we STILL had our messages bombarded by the thirstiest and most obnoxious straight guys that Tinder could drag up. We saw terrible pickup lines, a whole lot of bragging, and just plain ignorance that made us cringe as much as it made us laugh.
Here are the findings from our "field research," which just might prove that straight guys are (sometimes) the absolute worst:
1. Bros?
HA, I totally get it! He says he's a lesbian because he also likes women! HAHAHA, too bad being a heterosexual guy has NOTHING to do with the lesbian community!
2. Admitting defeat
Though his words annoyed me greatly, I do have to give him props for owning up to his carelessness. No doubt, a lot of guys AND girls are guilty of mindlessly swiping right on every person that pops up in their feed. Sure, you could be getting more matches that way, but you could also be setting yourself up for disappointment later on. Just ask this guy.
3. Ignorance at its finest
My girlfriend received this pickup line and didn't have to say much in return for this guy to show his true colors. Not only did he probably Google "best pickup lines" prior to shooting his shot, but he ALSO proceeded to undermine exactly what it means to identify as a lesbian. Imagine having such a huge ego that you believe women who are exclusively attracted to other women are just busting at the seams to have sex with you. My advice for this sucker? Quit chasing after people who will never be interested in you. Oh, and lose that sense of entitlement while you're at it.
4. Just…why?
Honestly, why even waste your time on her, dude? You both deserve better than that. You seem like a decent human being, so don't deprive yourself of a chance at happiness with a girl who's actually into guys.
5. Crushed dreams
If your dream girl is a lesbian that will never be able to be your genuine romantic and sexual partner… then yes.
6. Define "looking for friends"
I know for a fact that this gentleman didn't even bother to read my bio, or else he would have seen in plain sight the "looking for friends" clause I wrote towards the bottom of it. It's a fair question, but it could've been answered if you had taken the time to care about who you matched with.
7. A silver lining
My only ray of hope in this whole experiment was this lovely guy right here, who didn't take out his frustrations in a nasty or negative way, but used them to say something pretty uplifting. My girlfriend and I appreciate you for not being a jerk. We appreciate it more than you know, lonely straight boy, and we wish you so much happiness in your love life down the road.
By the end of our "study," my girlfriend and I combined had 150 MALE MATCHES, all of which accumulated in just a few days. After all of this, I can't help but wonder still what exactly was going through these guys' minds when they swiped on us. Are they hopelessly attracted to lesbians? Were they too lazy to read our bios? Do they actually want to be friends and just don't know how to politely socialize? I suppose we'll never know.
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