Leaves And The Human Response

Fall. Fall looks good. But why does fall look good? It's got to be the colors, right? All of the oranges, yellows, reds and all other assorted warm colors have to be it. I wish there was something that somehow represented every single great fall color. Oh wait, there is something. From blessed Gaia’s bosom, we have the almighty leaf.

Leaves; leaves growing on the tops of the illustrious pines and oaks that litter our world-- beautiful leaves. Leaves have given us so many amazing things as time has marched on like a soldier going to receive his medal of honor, full of dignity and valor.

When they all change color, is it not the most beautiful thing on the earth? It’s so earnest and pure, so unbelievably surreal and serine. We get to really experience the true pallet of the fall in leaves. But what else have leaves given us?

Leaves have given us some of the best jokes that mankind has ever uttered. For example, when you want some to get the heck out of your circle you tell them, “Hey, make like a banana and leave!” You see, the joke is that the leaves on a banana tree excrete this oily substance (used in a lot of cosmetic products) and you want them to slide on out of wherever you are. It’s also why banana peels are infamously slippery.

We also have the infamous “leaf peepers”. These are the people who come around from states where they don’t have leaves and look at all of the illustrious colors that ours have. They treat the leaves almost as if they are amusement park rides or some form of circus, and it’s wonderful! They are in absolutely no way a hindrance or an annoyance.

And oh the fun you can have with leaves. You can spend an entire day organizing leaves by color, shape, and size! At the end of the day, you can challenge your friends to one on one leaf battles via the LeafStormer Pro App! Who has the best leaves?! How else would you have maximum fun with your friends? Record your leaf battles and upload them to YouTube! Become an internet superstar! Make sure you get your parent’s credit card though-- you want to win don’t you?

And if you’re feeling more wild and crazy, you can pile them all up and jump on in! Watch them fly all around as your powerful form absolutely literally explodes them. When you’re done jumping in them, you can go get a lighter (your parents keep them in the garage near the grill, maybe even in the kitchen) and have a great bonfire night. You can tell scary stories, thin gin and just have a great relaxing fall night. Cool breeze, gigantic flaming inferno, people who you’re associated with purely due to your proximity and general interest.

Enjoy the fall! Enjoy the beauty of the temporary! Enjoy it because it always goes away eventually! Now, where did I leaf that rake?!