I had been warned about the dreaded “sophomore slump.” I had a few low points in the semesters, but who didn’t? I felt the pressure to make decisions about my major and my future. I felt like I needed to do more and be more. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard. It was really hard, but I got through it. I thrived in my classes, and I was more involved on campus than I had even been. There was one piece of the puzzle I couldn’t fit in. I couldn’t get back into the gym. My freshman year, I went to the gym almost every day of second semester. It was the strongest I’d ever been in my life. I actually loved going to the gym. I loved feeling of being drenched in sweat and pushed to my limits. This year, I couldn’t find the same motivation.

I left school with what I call, “sophomore slump body.” I didn’t slump anywhere else, but my body sure did. Soon enough, I noticed all the progress I had made disappear. The new clothes I bought last summer just didn’t quite fit anymore. My favorite high-waist shorts dug into my stomach so baldy I practically threw them off and buried them in the deepest depths of my drawers. I couldn’t stand to see them knowing I had let myself go so far I couldn’t wear them anymore.

Instead of doing something about it, I hid from it. I pretended like I didn’t care. I bought new shorts and pretended to be happy. I was good at that, like most of us are. Much like anyone struggling with their appearance, the mirror was my enemy. In my bathroom or a dressing room, I tugged and squeezed at all my flaws as if I could magically make them go away. The only real way to feel better about myself was to actually work, to get up and work every single day.

Progress is not instantaneous. In the meantime, I had to learn to love the body I created. There were a few things that helped me, and maybe they can help any of you struggling as well. First, buy the clothes that fit despite the number on the tag. I know the size can leave you feeling defeated and disgusted, but it shouldn’t. Buying clothes I was comfortable in made me so much more confident than wearing something too small. A number is a number and you are more than that. Second, do not let insecurities keep you out of the gym. I know there’s a the guy lifting twice his body weight making a noise like Darth Vader, and the Ronda Rousey lookalike at the treadmills. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else. Your workout is yours and no one else’s. Your progress is yours and will be different from everyone else so don’t compare yourself.

The most important thing of all is to love yourself every step of the way. Work to change your body because you love it, not because you hate it. Put on your bikini and you have a rocking bikini body. Find something to be proud of, and feel good about it every day. In the end, the size and the shape makes no difference. What matters is being healthy and being happy with who you are. These ups and downs are normal, and you are not alone.