"You can wish on a star but if it ain't in the cards let it go. Sometimes you gotta let it go. Let it all wash on under the bridge, blow it a kiss, give it a rest 'cause it is what it is." —George Strait

"So come on let it go, just let it be." —James Bay

"Save your strength for things that you can change, forgive the ones you can’t—you gotta let it go." —Zac Brown Band

"Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore." —Queen Elsa

"Let it go. Let it go homie." —Wiz Khalifa & Akon

Letting go. We hear about it everywhere—in songs, from friends, on social media. However, letting go is not a listening process, it is a learning process. It allows you to reflect and see the ways in which your life currently is, and how you want to change things moving forward.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more I have realized learning to let go is something you must accept personally, and we all need to—and will—learn this lesson at some point or another. Until you realize things need to change, and you need to let go, you will never be able to. You have to get to the place of self-realization. The people in your life can encourage it as much as they want to, but it takes self-will to cut those ties.

Well, when is it time to let go? Unfortunately, like most lessons, you’ll probably learn that answer the hard way. It is when you realize you are not the person you want to be or living the life you don’t want to have.

Let go of the ugly habits and addictions, no matter how good the fix feels, because it is defining who you are. Let go of the friendship that is draining, no matter how much you have in common, because you will be happier. Let go of the toxic relationship and break up, no matter how much you loved them, because you lost aspects of your self-respect. Let go of what could have been, no matter how much you wanted things to go your way.

Regardless of how easy or painful the realization is, coming to the concluding truth of needing to let go will be obvious. But once you recognize it, you actually need to let go, because holding on will never be the solution.

I’m not going to lie, letting go sucks. No matter how easy or hard it was to make the decision to let go, the actual process of doing so will not be easy, but you have to commit to it. Once learning you need to do it, then respect yourself and actually do so to become the person you desire to be again.

And although letting go will be hard, once you finally do, I promise you will also learn just how liberating it is. I never really understood the liberation aspect until recently, but let me tell you: it feels good. Damn good. You aren’t consumed, tortured, anchored, tied down, etc. You’re free.

We all need to let go of something. No matter what “it” is—a habit, person, lifestyle, addiction, etc.—things need to come and go, and we need to learn to let it happen.