I have gone through most of my life trying to please other people around me. I realized that most of the things I was doing, I was doing for other people.
I was someone who had a hard time saying "no" to people. After all, I just wanted them to think I was a nice person. I wanted to be liked by everyone. So I did a favor here and there, I worked hard for other people, and I said "yes" pretty much all the time.
It got to the point where it was unhealthy for me, physically and mentally.
This honestly went as far back as elementary and middle school. You know, when you're basically doing everything just to please your parents. For me, this was as menial as playing the violin. After the first couple of years, I figured out I wasn't that good and it just didn't interest me anymore.
However, I continued to do it up until high school when I had to choose between that or the piccolo, just because I didn't want my parents to be disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm.
I played basketball until the end of my junior year even though I was pretty miserable. At that point, I was doing it to please my coach, my teammates, and maybe even my dad. I rarely thought about my own happiness.
I worked a part-time job as soon as I turned 16 because I thought it would make my dad happy. I didn't really dislike working, but I knew it wasn't for me.
It wasn't until I started my college search that I realized the majority of the decisions I had to make in the near future needed to be because I wanted them. My school, my relationships, my jobs, my happiness.
Shortly after this, I decided to quit basketball and do track full time because that was where I was happy. This was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but after it was well and done, I felt better than I had felt in years. I was making a decision to go to practices I didn't dread and to be around people I felt comfortable with.
That was my realization.
It was so EASY to do things that made me happy. I finished my senior year not afraid to put myself first.
I said "no" to people when I knew it was better for me.
I still did favors for others but on my own terms. I expressed my immediate discontent for situations I was unhappy with, and then I did something about it.
I spoke what was on my mind.
It's literally that easy. It's honestly incredible how much happier you can be in life if you just put your own health and happiness before anything else.
Believe me, constantly trying to please other people is SO unhealthy. Just the pure stress of the whole situation can cause you to become physically and mentally ill, among other things.
You can't go through life trying to please everyone, especially because there are people who will never be satisfied.
In no way am I saying you shouldn't do people favors or prioritize other people. But more than occasionally, you should absolutely practice some self-care and put yourself first.
You'll be thrilled with the results.
