16 Profound Realizations That Came From The Darkest Point In My Life

16 Profound Realizations That Came From The Darkest Point In My Life

Allow yourself to hurt, but don't let it take over your life.

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"Rock bottom will teach you more lessons than mountaintops ever will."

About one month ago, I opened up about my battle with my mental health. I've heard from people who wanted an update and I can thankfully say that it has been much better. After opening up, I have realized a lot about myself and most importantly a lot about the people around me.

1. I learned that most people are battling something.

Everyone goes through hard times in their life, but typically they feel too embarrassed to talk about it. The deeper it goes, the bigger it actually gets. It's important to listen to people without judgment, because although everyone puts on a front, a lot of us are actually very similar.

2. I learned that you truly do not know someone until you actually make an effort to try and learn more about them.

When I first moved to Illinois, so many people talked so poorly on a specific girl in my sorority. They said that she was crazy and extremely mean. I got to know her and needless to say she became one of my best friends and has saved my life in so many ways. I truly will never be able to thank her enough. I have another friend that was known as the "crazy" ex-girlfriend, but she is the most genuine friend that I have ever had. The list can go on and on about the horrible things that people have said about me or the people that I am close to, so I stopped judging people completely. If I would have believed what I had first heard about most of the people in my life I never would have met the people that I have been so blessed to spend my college days with.

3. I learned that looks do not matter.

This may have been the most important lesson of them all for me. Looking back, I was so superficial. All I cared about was what I looked like, and I completely lost myself because of it. When people start to focus more on looks than who you actually are as a person it can completely deteriorate your self-esteem. I constantly felt not good enough or not pretty enough and it would lead to over-analyzing everything about myself. I was obsessed with my hair, makeup, and body always being perfect. I obsessed over the imperfections that I thought that I had. What I failed to remember is that life is so much more than how many likes you get on Instagram. I realized that I was putting looking good over my actual happiness. The people who I was most attracted to were the people with confidence. They were the people who were themselves one hundred percent of the time and did not care what anyone else thought. I was talking to my friends the other day and I asked them if they believed that looks mattered. After getting some answers, most of which being "to an extent," I started to wonder why. When you are 50, no one is going to look good. Pick the people in your life who would still love you even if you were old and wrinkly.

4. I learned to always trust my gut.

Without going into much detail on this one, your gut is normally right. Sometimes, when something bad is happening, you may not want to admit that the one thing that you do not want to happen is actually happening. However, when you have this horrible feeling, listen to it. It will tell you way more than most people ever will.

5. I learned that it is important to love everyone regardless of what kind of past they have.

When you hold hate in your heart, you are doing nothing but dragging yourself down. Rise above it. Forgive everyone and apologize when you need to. The second I took the time out of my day to apologize to people that I may have hurt in the past, I felt so much better. I mentally forgave anyone who may have done me wrong. As soon as I did this, I felt at peace with everything around me.

6. I learned that depression is so real.

Sometimes, when you are not going through a depression, it can be difficult to remember what it truly feels like. It is so much more than being sad. When I was going through my depression, I did not want to leave my bed. I think that some people think that it is about being sad and crying, yet I don't think that I cried. I just felt empty. I didn't see a purpose in life anymore. I felt as if there was no way that things were going to get better. I was not productive at all. I had to force myself to go out with my friends. I completely lost interest in the things that I loved. My performance at work and school plummeted. There are things that you can do to improve your mental health, yet I didn't have the energy to actually do it. I literally didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel, when in reality there is.

7. I learned that it is OK to cut toxic people out of your life.

This doesn't mean that you can't still love them or care about them, it is simply an act of looking out for yourself. I read a quote that said, "You cannot heal in an environment that made yourself sick," and I realized that sometimes in order to heal you have to get away from the people who do not have your best interest at heart.

8. I learned that it is OK to feel sad/vulnerable/hurt.

I mask my feelings. It is what we are taught to do. Sometimes, it is healthy just to let it all out. Write. Rant to a trusted friend. Cry if you need to. The more you put yourself out there, the more people will feel comfortable to not hide who they truly are. Courage comes from opening up about the things that you are insecure about.

9. I learned that love is not a feeling.

Love is a choice. You choose to love someone. There is a reason why people say that relationships are not easy. You are not going to want to be with the person that you are with one hundred percent of the time. You are going to get annoyed and frustrated. It is all a matter about finding what you first saw in the relationship to keep the spark alive. This isn't just about relationships, it is about friendships as well.

10. I learned that if you cannot admit your mistakes, you have not learned from them.

Sometimes, the people who can do no wrong are the ones that you have to watch out for.

11. I learned that happiness is not something that will always be there, but neither is sadness.

You are going to have your bad days and weak moments no matter where you are in life. You could have everything going for you and still not feel like yourself. You are allowed to feel sad, just do not let the sadness take over your life.

12. I learned that not everyone is going to understand how you are feeling.

Some people do not get what you are going through and that is OK. Some of them will judge you, think that you are making excuses, and try to bring you down or shut you out, but the people in your life that care about you will put their best effort into trying to understand what you are going through. The other people do not matter.

13. I learned that the truth will set you free.

I wasn't living true to who I was. I was putting on a mask and hiding all of my insecurities. I felt like I wasn't being honest about who I truly was and because of that I was losing myself to my own brain. If I got rid of the fear of being judged, I would have never lost myself in the first place. Be honest with yourself and how you're feeling now.

14. I learned that taking the high road will always pay off in the end.

You will feel so much better in the end when you take that road less traveled, although it may not be the easy thing to do. In life, conflict is always going to happen, but you can either let yourself be bitter, or you can be the better person.

15. I learned that sometimes you have to swallow your pride.

Pride can be a very good thing. It can keep yourself from getting walked all over people who do not value you. Let's say that you messed something up, hurt someone that you didn't mean to, or made a mistake and are filled with regret. Swallow your pride and apologize or take the risk of regretting it the rest of your life.

16. I learned that the best way to live is by doing whatever you want to do without caring what people think.

The happiest I ever was, was the time in my life where I was living for me. The best thing that you can do for yourself is doing whatever you want to do. You do not owe anyone anything at the end of the day. If you want to do something that makes you happy, do it.

At the end of the day, everyone has to go through something harsh in order for them to learn lessons and grow from them. There were so many times in which I thought that I would never get better. I thought that it was going to be an endless cycle of sadness. There is always a way out. Reach out to your friends. Allow yourself to be sad. Don't fight it. Although this generation will tell you that having feelings will make you weak, I believe that it takes much more to admit how you are feeling.

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Sorry I'm A Size 00

But I'm not really sorry.
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My whole life I’ve been thin—which is kind of an understatement. Every time I go to the doctor I get the same “you’re underweight” lecture that I’ve heard every year since I was able to form memories. I’ve never really felt insecure about my weight, I love being able to eat everything and not gain a single pound. Since my freshman year of high school I’ve probably only gained 8 pounds and I’m now a sophomore in college. Of course, in school, there were rumors that I was anorexic or bulimic, but everyone who knew me knew that was far from the truth. I’m now 19, 5’2, and I still have yet to break 100 pounds on the scale. It seems that there is a lot of skinny shaming going around and to me, one of the main contributors to that is the Dove Real Beauty campaign.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this because skinny girls get all the praise and other body types are neglected. That’s really not true, though. While loving other body types, you are tearing down skinny girls. Why is it okay to do that to skinny girls but not to other body types? Why is it okay to say “only dogs like bones” or say “every body type is beautiful” until you see a model's abs, or ribs, or thigh gap and then tear them down because they’re “unnaturally” skinny?



The point I’m trying to make is that, as a naturally skinny girl, I have never shamed anyone for their body type, yet I go every day and get at least two comments about my weight. I’m always the skinny girl, the toothpick, but I’m not Jessica. Yeah, I’m a size 00. Get over it. If you have an issue with my body and feel like my body is disgusting to you, don’t look at it. I know that I’m healthy and I don’t need your input when my body just naturally burns calories fast. I don’t have an eating disorder and never have. I am real beauty though, and I know that because I’m comfortable in my own skin. So maybe the real issue is that we as a society have been shoving certain body types down our daughters’ throats so they begin to romanticize models that have certain standards that they have to meet, who work hard for the bodies that they have, and are making a hell of a lot more money than most of the people discussing why they look emaciated while what they’re actually looking at is the photoshopped product.

I’m not going to apologize for being skinny when that is just how my body is, I can’t help it. So please, stop tearing my body down while trying to bring your body up. You can praise your body without shaming skinny girls. Shaming me for being thin does not make you better than the man that shamed your body, just as me shaming you for being curvy does not make me better than the man that shamed my body. As women, we need to love each other because we are the only ones who truly understand each other.


Cover Image Credit: Victoria's Secret Untouched

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Smile, Laugh, Cry...It's ok

Isn't it amazing that our body literally cannot contain the amount of joy we are feeling, so we laugh.

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How great is it that you have someone in this world who has the ability to make you happy, excited, or even sad. How lucky are you that someone means so much to you that you are able to feel so deeply as to what their opinion of you means. Some may think it's a bad thing to let someone affect your emotions, but I think it means you're human. Emotions are the best gift that we were given. Isn't it amazing that our body literally cannot contain the amount of joy we are feeling, so we laugh. Or that we could be so hurt that tears run down our face.

Yeah, being sad isn't fun and at the time you want that feeling to go away (which it will) but just imagine what your life would be like if you couldn't feel sad? or you didn't have the ability to feel the amazing feeling of pure happiness. I would rather deal with the pain of hurting for a while than to have the option of never having to feel it again because it makes you a real person. It shows you what your morals are. These emotions help you figure out how you want to live your life. We feel emotions that we may not even realize. And sometimes you may never really know what's going on in that complicated mind of yours, but your body will literally force you to figure it out.

Also, the best thing about these emotions is they show you who really should be in your life. The more the actions of someone else affects you, shows how much they mean to you. All these emotions that you hate feeling like guilt, jealousy, hatred, grief, resent, these help you and they lead to great things such as being happy. Be thankful you have the ability to feel so much and so powerfully and be thankful that you have people in your life that can cause pure joy. Because one day if you woke up without these feelings, you'd want them back.

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