4 Frustrations Of Learning Your Mother Tongue In Adulthood

4 Frustrations Of Learning Your Mother Tongue In Adulthood

Learning your mother tongue in adulthood is frightening and a self-evaluation in a way.

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All I can say is: it's about time. I'm 19 years old and my parents never taught me my mother tongue. Instead, they did that thing all immigrant parents do... speaking it when they don't want you to understand. My parents instead speak a combination of other languages in the house, mostly English. While I've resented them a bit for not speaking the language more when I was a child, I realized that at this point I need to teach myself. The truth is, I've made the decision several times to try to learn, but it's hard to commit to something that never truly has a deadline.

Summer is just around the corner, and I'm tired of making excuses. So I've decided to learn the language my ancestors spoke: Malayalam. It is one of the few Indian languages not derived from Sanskrit, and comes from the southern state of Kerala in India (aka where I'm from). Though I embarked on this adventure, it does come with a few not-so-fun side-effects.

Though the language Malayalam comes with its own difficulties, there are frustrations of learning any language in your adulthood.

1. Your family often and regularly teases you

Though your intentions are genuine and praiseworthy, your family will use the fact that you're an adult to point out all of your mistakes. After all, to them, you could have just learned it as a kid, but didn't. They don't understand how difficult it was growing up in a foreign country and having parents who only spoke English around you. If you have supportive family members, then you should appreciate the lack of judgment so many people feel when trying to learn about their culture. But this frustration is also partially in the mind. When learning any language, it becomes difficult to find courage when you're not confident. It's all about embracing the mistakes and not caring about what anyone else thinks because this is your journey.

2. Finding the courage to speak it, because you don't feel you've earned the right to do so

Finding the courage to speak any arbitrary language is difficult as it is, but when learning the language you should have learned as a kid you feel 10 times more fearful. This fear comes from guilt, from not having been enough "Indian," "Pakistani," "Korean," "Latina," and so on. The trauma of being singled out by your community for years still lingers.

3. People asking you to converse right away

This is one that gets my anxiety level through the roof. When I tell my parents I want to learn Malayalam, they ask me the next day "Speak in Malayalam. Why are you speaking in English?" The misconception is that all of a sudden I'm going to have the magical ability to converse in a language when language learning takes time and patience just like any skill.

4. Feeling like you've missed out on an entire childhood connecting with this culture

When you finally do start getting immersed in your mother tongue, and find yourself even enjoying it, you realize that so many years of exclusion and confusion could have been prevented if you had just taken the leap earlier. You could have immersed yourself further into your culture just a bit more if you had tried harder. But the truth is, the time is now so just appreciate your amazing decision to start learning now.

If you can relate, then I want you to know that you're not alone. Do not ever give up your mother tongue, because as the world gets more globalized, English is becoming more and more common. In order to maintain lesser-known languages, they need to be passed onto future generations. A huge factor in me learning Malayalam is this: I want to be able to speak it fluently to my children so they can speak it to theirs. No fear, frustration, or failure is going to stop me now.

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!
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After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvUCbnwzySKgbKiB_...



14. Some activities on my bucket list are...


This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...



What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

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How The Rhetoric Of 'White Privilege' Is Used Incorrectly

Social Commentary: Maria Costello

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White privilege is a term that has been thrown around in American politics without the right context or consideration for what it means. The most common use of this ambiguous term in modern political conversation is that it acts as a social force that advantages the white community by affording it "perks" that minority races are not afforded. Furthermore, because this force advantages those of white skin tone, the white community is therefore unaware of its advantages and cannot speak to the "suffering" of minorities. In the current political debate, this term has been used in such a way as to go so far as to shut down the success of non-minorities by chalking up their success to their so-called privilege.

This use of white privilege is highly problematic. Firstly, it conflates privilege with racism. This is an important notion to consider because it misrepresents the term in a way that lends itself to miscommunication. It has become a term in modern conversation used to shut down those who are not of minority status; therefore, instead of speaking about white privilege for what it is, a false correlation between being privileged and being racist has developed. Simply because someone was born with supposed advantages does not mean that he is oppressing those who were not. The way that white privilege is used in the news assumes that if you are not of the minority, you must, therefore, be contributing to the marginalization of that minority by nature of your privilege. This notion is ridiculous because it assumes that America is inherently a racist country where the reason that white people get ahead is because of their privilege. It is easy to blame the advantages of one race over another on racist ideology; however, white privilege has nothing to do with racism itself. In fact, white privilege is no different than normal privilege, but by coining it as "white", the term has been weaponized in politics to shut down certain points of view.

The environment that a person grows up in can afford them privileges that others don't have. When one group of people has advantages another does not, that is called privilege and it is no different when it comes to white privilege. White people have advantages that minorities do not. That does not make white people inherently racist, it simply means they have advantages. Let's take a closer look at the most popular example of white privilege cited in modern political conversation: Living without the fear of being arbitrarily racially profiled.

The most commonly referenced example of arbitrary bias against the black community regards unfair assumptions of criminality. There are a few aspects of white privilege to consider when looking at this issue. In regards to mortality rates at the hand of cops, yes, according to whole population statistics, black people are more likely to get shot by police than white people. However, according to accredited professor Peter Moskos at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, for example, when the statistics being used are looking specifically at homicide cases in the black vs white community, white people are more likely to die at the hands of the cops on the scene of the crime than blacks. This statistic gets skewed in whole population data because the rates of murder cases are far higher in the black community; therefore, on the whole, more African-Americans die.

To be clear, this does not debunk the existence of white privilege. There is clear proof of arbitrary racial profiling against the Hispanic and African-American communities when it comes to law enforcement. However, according to Department of Justice crime statistics, a much larger percentage of the African-American and Hispanic communities commit crimes than in the white community. What this leads to is a social generalization that is formed against disproportionately violent minority communities which says, "if you are part of that community, you must be violent." This assumption, of course, is false, but it creates a bias where people become more wary of those communities. This does not occur because America is racist. This does not occur because white people are privileged. This occurs because there is a legitimate statistical basis for this bias.

So, after all this, what is white privilege? White privilege is the bias that exists against minority groups that do not exist in the white community. It has nothing to do with actual privilege. It has nothing to do with racism. It is simply a term used to point out how minority communities are being marginalized. We cannot deny the existence of this marginalization, but we also cannot deny that it has a legitimate factual basis that stems from the very communities claiming to be disadvantaged.

The purpose of this article is not to disprove white privilege. The purpose is simply to show that there is often a misrepresentation of what white privilege actually is. The statistics commonly cited to support the weaponized use of the term do not tell the full story, because they assume that correlation is causation. They conveniently leave out other factors that may contribute to statistics that show racial socioeconomic stratification. We must also be careful how we use this term so as not to conflate white privilege with racism in America. Using this term in order to shut down the voices of non-minorities hinders thoughtful debate and does not lead to the betterment of minority status. We should be striving to find common ground through clear communication in order to combat true racism instead of contributing to the division among racial lines through the misuse of terms such as "white privilege."

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