If there is one thing I've learned from my parents' journey with each other, it's this: you know better than anyone else what makes you happy, and there is no point in staying in a relationship if you are not happy.

In the past few months, I've been sifting through old memories, excavating old wounds, and navigating old paths where my trains of thought used to run. I've thought not only about my parents' marriage(s), but also about their friendships, their families, their lives. I've thought about each one's perception of what the ultimate purpose in life is. I've thought about each one's self esteem. I've thought about each one's pride.

I found some clarity through multiple conversations I've had with multiple people on multiple occasions. I discovered hidden jewels in rants that occurred only through happenstance. The more I talked about it, the better I felt inside. The more I uttered each word of hurt and pain, the less power those words had in their attacks on me. The less weight each one carried. To explain the phenomenon, I'll tap into the psycholinguistics portion of my brain: the meaning of each word was once burdened with negative emotion –– and now, each phonological noise represented something less stinging, something less virulent to my happiness.

After analyzing each pump of the powder keg that led up to the explosion, I can see how things ended up as they are. The unhappiness was unintentionally planted as a seed, and that weed grew and grew until it overtook the garden that had once been. Hindsight always seems to have 20/20 vision, doesn't it?

That being said, my parents' marriage was not a mistake. No, it cannot be classified as a mistake. A mistake, according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, is a "wrong action or statement proceeding from faulty judgment, inadequate knowledge, or inattention." It's something that one may regret –– or something that one may wish had never happened.

I don't believe that my parents' marriage was any of that. I don't believe that their marriage came from anything like "faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge, or inattention." I don't believe that either of my parents regretted their marriage with one another, because without that marriage, my brother and I would not have been born.

It wasn't so much a "wrong action" as it was just another piece of the mosaic masterpiece that is life. Some stones in the picture are bigger than others; some shine brighter or are more colorful. But no part of a mosaic is there by mistake. Every event in one's life adds something to the picture and changes it forever, whether that event was dull like a sandy rock or painfully piercing like a shard of a broken glass bottle.

Through this journey, I believe that my parents have learned things about themselves: what makes them happy, what makes them furious, what they value most in life. I believe they have found purposes to chase and dedicate themselves to. I believe that they are, overall, happier and stronger as a result.

The saying, "forgive and forget," has always intrigued me. I think that forgiving is a large part of developing oneself, but I have different opinions on the forgetting half of the phrase. I don't ever want to forget the journey I took; I don't ever want to forget the things I learned along the way. In the last few years, every person in my family has had to learn forgiveness. We've all had to offer forgiveness to one another. We've all had to accept the forgiveness being handed to us. We've all had to forgive ourselves.

I do believe that it is through these times –– times that are not quite simple or easy –– where we grow the most. It's where we are forced to be the most open minded. It's where we are forced to be the most strong. It's where we are forced to be the most loving.

This long, arduous journey has taught me the mechanics of having a relationship –– any type of relationship. I now know how to stand up for myself in friendships, family situations, and more. I know what is good for me; I know what makes me happy. I know it is okay for me to let go of toxic or unhappy relationships.

As I step out of this childhood phase of my life and move forward into the next, I will approach my relationships with confidence and love rather than fear and silence. I can't wait to see what my life mosaic will look like on the other side.