Growing up, I always tried to be like everyone else. Whether it was fashion, the latest gossip, or entertainment, I wanted to be a part of it all. Then, I realized, why am I comparing myself to other people?

Questions would arise in my head like:

"Do you see what she has on, why can't you dress like that?" or

"She is friends with everyone, how come you are not like her?"

Those questions always haunted me and prevented me from being myself. I was envious of the girls and guys around me. I wanted everyone to like me and my reputation had to be clean at all times, so I did whatever I could to make my image look good.

A great example was when I tried to imitate the way other girls got ready. Early in the morning, most of the girls would be in the restroom with their hair dryers and makeup trying to look pretty for their man or try to get a guy's attention. I decided to try that one day by putting on full makeup and realized how much time it takes to beautify myself in the morning. I couldn't believe it, this was not me at all. It happened just recently when I was in my advisor's office, one girl said my hair is always the same I should change it up. Those questions snuck up behind and tried to get to me, but I stood my ground and said to myself, "Self, you have a choice. Listen or keep it moving."

My mom tells me all the time that I am to impress my father in heaven not to please "man" at all because once I do one thing I am doing something else wrong. There are times when I wear sweats and, according to some people, if you have those on your not beautiful. As long as the piece of clothing looks appropriate and right for the education (college), then I see no problem in it.

So my advice is to STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. It is not right, it causes stress, and you are definitely not pleasing yourself. It took me awhile to love myself for who I am. I like matching my colors together. I like to wear makeup every now and then. The list could go on, but I will gladly tell people that I am not dressing nor trying to impress them because it is not about them. As long as I am not offensive in any way, then I am okay with myself.

Something I do every day is compliment a guy and a girl because, often times, those nice encouraging words of "You look beautiful" or "You look handsome" don't get said enough. We compare ourselves to others so much that we forget the uniqueness about each of us. If everyone was the same, it would be pretty boring. Having a little spice and difference is called perspective.