I'll be the first to admit that I barely dated in high school (and had never dated before that). I seemed to be a late bloomer when it came to relationships, and I preferred to focus on myself. Sure, I had a fair share of crushes over the years, but I was never able to act on it... until I started to fall for Austin. I found him to be amazing, funny, intelligent, handsome-- I enjoyed everything about him. It didn't matter to me that he was two grades below me; he is very nature for his age. I had fallen hard, and it was strange and wonderful for me. The only strange thing...
Austin is transgender. He was born in the wrong body, and knew it from a young age. He had a very hard time telling people this, and didn't come out until middle school. Even though I come from a fairly liberal town, people had a hard time accepting him, and he was bullied.
Before we began dating, I barely knew anything about the trans* community. It was honestly strange to me; I never thought that someone could be born in a body that didn't fit them. I'm also sad to say that I didn't fully consider transgender people as the gender they identify as. Austin helped me see my internalized transphobic thoughts without even meaning to.
Austin would let me get into his head a lot with simple questions (and I would always make sure I wasn't offending him, even though he always told me I wouldn't be). He told me how he'd known from the time he was a toddler that he was meant to be a boy. He talked about his upbringing, and finally telling his family, and how fortunate he was to be accepted by them. He told me about his plans to transition, and his difficulties in school.
I had never realized how difficult it is for Austin and so many others to just live a normal life. Austin had to fight for it to even be a possibility for him to be able to try out for the boy's sports teams. He has to use the girl's bathroom and locker room. Several people flatly call him by his birth name (never do this to someone). The school did try accommodating some things for him, but not many.
Although my high school didn't get to help very much, Emerson is already making great advances towards being inclusive for both sexualities and genders with the new gender-inclusive bathrooms in addition to the typical male or female ones. They also have gender-neutral housing for those who either identify outside of the gender binary, or prefer to have roommates of other genders.
I have always considered myself an ally of the LGBT+ community, even before realizing I was bisexual, but I never would have learned as much about the trans* community and about not judging others if I hadn't dated Austin. Although our relationship ultimately didn't work out, I'm thankful for the time we had and the things I learned from him, that made me a better ally.
