Learning To Say "No" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

Learning To Say "No"

and focus on yourself

187
Learning To Say "No"
livelifehappy.com

When I was in seventh grade and I watched "27 Dresses" for the first time, the scene that stuck with me the most was the one where Jane learns to say no.


For about my entire adolescence, I was a push over. I would do anything that any of my friends wanted because I wanted all of them to like me, because somehow, somewhere, the idea that the amount of people who liked me somehow amounted to my personal worth. It was the wrong idea.

I would go to things I didn't want to go to or help people with assignments when I didn't really have time. You'd think that this problem was even, all around, but it wasn't. Not only did I do favors for everyone: friends, family, acquaintances, but also for the boys I had crushes on.

You'd be surprised at the extent I went to. (Staying up till 1 in the morning when I usually go to bed at 9 to help him study for a test that I had to take myself, but had already studied for because he didn't want to study alone. He COULD study alone, he didn't WANT to study alone.)

It wasn't until college that I realized when to say no. I started out small, telling my friends that invited me to things, begging me to go that I didn't want to. And, you know what 7th grade me never would have thought would happen did. My friends would say okay and move on. We were still friends. Their opinion on my hadn't changed. THEY STILL LIKED ME.

It didn't happen all of a sudden like that though, I had to learn how to say no, just like everyone has to learn little things that make life more tolerable.

I started out with my friends, and slowly worked up to people with more power in my life, like my professors. In all honesty, the first time I said no to a professor didn't go over very well. She gave me an F on that assignment. Guess some people can't take constructive criticism.

But, this is a learning process, and soon I learned how and when to say no. Sometimes it is as simple as just using that word, sometimes its phrasing that one word into a much more professional and eloquent paragraph.

You can google "learning how to say no" and get a lot of advice, but what I found to be the one thing that has kept me saying no, even to people that I love, is the idea of a mental health day. Everyone, no matter who you are, what gender you identify as, what ethnicity you have or what income you were born into, everyone needs to take time for themselves.

And, when you're busy with school and homework, work and obligations, trying to fit in time for you and yourself can be a challenge, and saying no to a friend is probably the last thing that you want to do.

But, you should.

You will be better for it, and if that person really is a friend, then they'll understand that sometimes, when you have the time, you really should take those two hours that they want you to use to edit their essay to read a book. Watch a movie. Get a pedicure. Take a bath. Your friend will probably agree that you need the time for yourself too, and maybe they will even see, if you're lucky, that if they just take the time to revise their own essay, they'll learn how to do it.

Take those couple of hours when you get, every chance you get, because sometimes, we need to be selfish, even though taking time to take care of yourself isn't really selfish, it just makes sense.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

124971
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

27707
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

25834
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments