(9/16) Identify Your Problems Before Criticizing Someone For Theirs | The Odyssey Online
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(9/16) Identify Your Problems Before Criticizing  Someone For Theirs

What made them suddenly "toxic"?

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(9/16) Identify Your Problems Before Criticizing  Someone For Theirs
Andrew Neelhttps://unsplash.com/photos/JBfdCFeRDeQ

Throughout your life, you are going to go through many changes and challenges. You will overcome things, you will experience big lifetime milestones, you will learn things about yourself and the world you would have never known before. But one of the hardest things for many people to experience is when people enter your life just as easily as when they leave your life.

Let me explain. As you grow and evolve, so will the people and faces you surround yourself with. The reason for this revolving friends epidemic could be for a multitude of reasons, but the most common one is that you are simply not compatible anymore. This is perfectly okay, but your reaction and response is usually where things go from bad to worse.

One of the most common things people talk about when losing close friends nowadays has been because they think the opposing person of the situation is toxic, and they may be true, but it is also important to understand things from both perspectives. What triggered that person's switch in personality? What made them suddenly "toxic"? This wasn't something that happened overnight, so why are there dark storm clouds over something that used to be fine? There could be a thousand different answers to those questions, but to put all the blame on just one person for their behavior without taking a step back to analyze your own is just as bad and unhealthy.

There is nothing wrong with admitting that some of the fault may have been your own, in fact, identifying what problems were caused by your words and actions will not only help the situation, but help make you a better person in the future. Before throwing the word "toxic" around, make sure you are not using that term in self defense or to mask a bigger problem at hand. Even more so, you should not ever make someone feel worthless for wanting to distance themselves from you if you are causing them pain and discomfort. Someone who feels this way toward you does not automatically get outcast because they are taking care of themselves. Identify the problem with yourself and learn to correct it. This may help the tainted friendship, or at least prevent the same thing from happening again. Everyone is entitled to take care of their emotion and mental health, and should not feel ashamed of doing so because it made someone else feel bad about themselves in the process.

Friends will come and go, and unfortunately, that is one of the hardest things to learn sometimes. Not only that, but it is harder to accept that you may be the reason why it happens often. The only way to get better is to accept the problems as you see them rather than repressing them and placing the blame on someone else. Take care of yourself first and foremost as the years go by, and I can guarantee that life will be a lot happier and obstacle free from here on out.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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