This past election season has had me thinking more and more about what it means to be a leader.

Throughout my four ½ years in college, I have had the privilege of experiencing leadership programs, workshops, and other opportunities. I’ve been in several leadership positions myself - as an RA, an officer in four different student organizations including a sorority, an event programmer for my campus’s activities board, a programmer for my residence hall, and a director in films. Throughout these experiences, I’ve worked alongside other leaders and learned a lot from them about how to lead effectively.

My desire to be a leader stems from my passion for film. The moment I knew I wanted to be a film director was the moment I knew I had to first learn to be a leader. Directors are responsible for not only working with actors, but with crew as well, and on the multimillion dollar productions, a director can be working with literally hundreds of people.

I’ve had the privilege of learning from amazing leaders who inspire me daily to be a more effective leader. However, I’ve also experienced working with leaders who hold a title and inspire me to never be that type of leader.

The most important thing I’ve learned about being a leader is that the true mark of a leader is not what you do, but how you make people feel. One of the most inspiring leaders I’ve had the privilege to work with was Lindsay. What made Lindsay so incredible was her way to make every single person feel important. Sure, she made sure we got our work done, but she encouraged us along the way. Lindsay often spoke to us about ways we excelled, and didn’t constantly talk down to us about all the ways we failed (because trust me, I am not perfect).

Another important quality of leadership is humility. Recently, a student organization I am involved in was run by leadership I was less than fond of. The leadership demanded respect and appreciation from others. Believe me, I understand what it’s like to pour your heart and soul into something and never hear a thank you. But the mark of a leader is knowing you did it because you care about the organization and the people, not for appreciation and recognition.

I look at the leaders I’ve been inspired by and the reason I most want to follow them is because they never once ask for it. They don’t ask for fans, they don’t ask for everyone to praise them. They work for what they believe in and love the people along the way.

One of the most influential leaders in my life has been Mike Donehey, the lead singer of my favorite band. Mike’s music drew me to like the band, but it was Mike’s heart that led me to fall in love with the band.

The number one quality I see in Mike is compassion. Mike doesn’t look down on others for struggling and for screwing up. I’ve seen it in his tweets and Instagram posts about the stories he hears from fans. He’ll sometimes post a letter from a fan or talk about something a fan told them about their struggles and I can tell he cares. Mike seems to understand what it’s like to be human and to mess up. And that’s what gets people to listen. Mike’s talked about issues I’d rather not face, but because of my respect for him, I’ve listened. The key to leadership is to first show compassion and understanding. From there, people will listen.

I saw it once at a music festival. There was a speaker right before the headliner. The crowd wasn’t really paying attention to the speaker, and the kid next to me was complaining about the speaker, telling him to hurry up. Other people were on their phones or having side conversations. When the headliner finally came, the crowd hit a frenzy of jumping, screaming, and cheering. It went from bored to lit within seconds.

Halfway through the performance, however, the headliner started to speak. It was incredible. We were in a field and there had to be about 100,000 people there, but it was the quietest I’d heard it all night. People were listening. Why? Because the speaker had their respect. He had performed music that spoke life into these people. He performed music that people could relate to. He understood life, and he understood people.

Leadership is something people throw around loosely. They call those in authority, and those with titles, leaders. Maybe my definition of leadership is different than others, but I believe that leadership brings those you lead to the top of the mountain with you. That a true leader doesn’t make it to the top of the mountain, but pushes others up it. Because to be a leader, I believe you first have to be willing to serve.

The most incredible leader I know served people beneath Him. He served tax collectors, prostitutes, and adulterers. He gave His life for people He knew would never even utter a thank you.

When I think of leadership, I have to ask myself why I do what I do. Am I leading for recognition, fame, and success? Or am I pouring myself into the lives of the individuals I’m leading? Am I showing grace, compassion, and humility? Because leadership is about way more than titles.