First dates are exhausting for just about everyone, but for lazy girls, they're extra stressful. We actually have to get out of our comfy spot on the couch and socialize, you mean you want me to put on real pants? When you only wear your hair in a bun and leggings, first-dates are a hard-pass.
And you may think oh going out to a movie is easy or meeting for coffee, no big deal, but you're wrong. Unless your date includes ordering take-out and watching a movie with the potential-boo, it's probably not lazy girl friendly.
Here are 10 things us lazy girls are going to hate about whatever you've got planned:
1. Waking up from our mid-day nap
... and not just popping open Netflix and calling it a night. Seriously, this whole date thing is interrupting our daily schedule. Why couldn't you just go on a Netflix-and-nap date?
2. Washing our hair
When it's our off day, it's our off day. And what's not cute about dirty hair? I don't get it... cave-women made it look hot.
3. And washing our bodies/shaving our legs
There may be dry-shampoo for our hair but there's no dry soap for all our anxiety sweat or miracle smooth for our leg stubble. We thought we could get away with it, but showering it is.
4. What to wear, what to wear...
... but I only own leggings.... and I don't do laundry. I guess it's time to get creative.
5. And are we expected to wear makeup?
Let me tell you a secret, makeup is NOT like riding a bike. The makeup look from two months ago was an absolute miracle, not a stroke of genius. Don't expect me to do it again.
6. All that work, and so little fun
We're losing hours of our lazy-girl lives to potentially have the. worst. date. ever. Not okay.
7. The chances of it working out are so so slim, so why even bother?
So the first date ends up good, but what about the second and the third and the fourth? If those flop, then what? At least, we know it'll always work out with "Grey's Anatomy" and our regular order of wings, call me dramatic but why jeopardize that?
8. Refraining from talking with food in our mouths
Because it's rude or gross or whatever. But lazy girls love to multitask, so this is completely unfair. And what kind of person asks you about your major while you're shoving pasta in your mouth?
9. Thinking of interesting things to say
Because apparently sleeping, eating and watching TV aren't acceptable answers to "what do you like to do for fun?"
10. And we sort of hate small talk, too
Now we have to find a way to make our day seem interesting?! I slept, ate, and pooped... I basically took care of a baby, can that count as babysitting? What about online shopping, that definitely counts as business development, right?
11. What if they want to hang out after?
This date has been like a whole hour and I really think we should be getting back to our beds.
12. That weird goodbye is just too much
Should you hug them? Are they going to kiss you? Should you shake hands? No, that's weird. This whole process takes up way too much lazy-girl time and we can't have that.
