Being A Late Bloomer Made Me Hate My Curvy Body In College
Start writing a post
Arts Entertainment

Being A Late Bloomer Made Me Hate My Curvy Body In College

Eating a dozen wings = looking five months pregnant.

Being A Late Bloomer Made Me Hate My Curvy Body In College
Kelsey Rogers

I've had an odd relationship with my body for my entire life. Most girls do. But I'm still waiting for that magical moment where I come to terms with living in my own skin and become that confident, glowing 20 something year old that I'm supposed to be.

That happens, right?

I was always tiny. I hit my growth spurt early and was 5"4 when I was 10 years old, towering over the rest of my classmates. My legs were longer than life itself: I had the body of a runner.

The height thing never bothered me, but soon I stopped growing and noticed that while I stayed the same, everyone else was changing.

I knew what puberty was. The thing was that I got the short end of the stick. I was the "lucky" one who got her period at 10 and would have to stay home with unbearable cramps. Meanwhile, the rest of my classmates were still naive to that aspect of "becoming a woman", but they got to wear bras.

Bras were a big fucking deal. It meant that you had boobs; boys noticed you. I hoped and wished that they would show up soon, as a way to compensate for the awkward four eyes and the face that had yet to grow into its features.

My mom told me to be patient. That she didn't get them until she was older, and why would I want back pain?

You don't think about that when you're 12 though. You only think about how you can fit in and get validation. Except I'm 20 and the puberty came way later than I planned, and I'm still kind of looking for validation through other people that I don't even care about.

Normally that validation hits when I eat an app platter and boneless wings and burp for the next ten minutes. Ya gotta love food though, right?

Me at a dance in eighth grade (right)

Obviously, when I was 14 I was HOT. Totally kidding. Also, don't let the padding in the bra fool you. I was as flat as a board until I went to college.

With a combination of being a late bloomer, medication and a dash of genetics I am this average-sized college girl you see today.

Me in 2018 (left)

I normally don't care about a lot of people I don't know or their opinions. But all of a sudden when I step onto a scale or look at an old picture of myself from high school, I care. I care too much.

I notice how I generally look wider than a lot of my friends. I notice that my hips sway a lot more than some of the other girls. I notice that I'm an athlete and still a runner, but I definitely don't have the body that proves it.

The correlation between these different phases in my life is my outlook on my body. It merely transferred from "oh my god I am a stick I need BOOBS and SEXUAL FEATURES" to "now I have curves and I wish that I had a flat stomach and a smaller frame again."

You can't win them all, I guess.

I do notice some improvement in my outlook, though. I exercise now to be stronger and faster instead of thinner. I can walk around in a t-shirt and underwear and feel like a million bucks if the lighting is right. I wore bathing suits this summer and proudly toted around my bloated belly because sometimes the french fries are worth it, okay?

Then I have my moments where everything goes downhill.

I have a terrible run and find myself ending it earlier than I anticipated, wondering if things would be different if I didn't have so much weight bearing me down. When I go to buy jeans and my size is rarely in stock (size 14 in the US) or I have to leave the store in frustration because there's no way in hell I'm gonna ask someone for the "larger sizes in the back."

I'm larger, I get it. But it's so incredibly damn frustrating when you try to take care of your body and it doesn't show. And in the process, you lose your mental sanity.

I try to remind myself that the elements just simply weren't in store for me to have the same small frame my entire life. That overall I am a healthy individual and I should love the curves that I've been given because why wouldn't I?

I have to learn how to start treating my body as a thing that I love instead of something I resent.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments