When to Apologize:
If you don’t want to, don’t, because often apologies are solicited and not owed. Apologize when you bump into someone, when you zone out, when you trip, when you find yourself in the wrong place taking up someone’s time, or whenever else the words “I’m sorry” can slip off your tongue. Do so reflexively until the words have no meaning. You can apologize for any action but never for taking up space.
When to Smile:
Smile often and everywhere at everyone you pass and everything you see if it pleases you. You deserve a showcase to your happiness. And if you don’t feel like smiling, don’t. Pierce through the veneer of the world with your resting bitch face. No, you’re not a bitch. You’re a person with facial muscles that need a break. If they’re tired, let them relax. If they’re not tired, don’t be afraid to saunter through the world, letting it know you’re above its bullshit. The position of your face does not make as strong an impression as the words that come out of it.
When to Speak:
Speak when spoken to, and when spoken at; correct the speaker with as much gentleness or harshness as you deem necessary. If you find yourself tripping over the interrupting words of those around you, find your footing. Shy away if you must, but do not hesitate to assert your right to the conversation. More than that, butt-in once or twice yourself--no one is perfect anyway. Contribute smart questions, and stupid questions, and funny jokes, and new ideas, and incomplete thoughts, and whatever else you can. Do not let the fear of being wrong silence you.
When to Laugh:
Save your laughs; you don’t have to give them to every guy who talks to you on the street. Make somebody earn it, and if they don’t: don’t laugh. Treat laughter like gold and use sparingly. Treat laughter like air and let it surround you. Laugh at everything you see or at that joke you heard a week ago. There is beauty in finding joy in the world, and it is as abundant as your imagination. Remember that laughter is not indicative of intelligence, and don’t let someone shame your humor, no matter how trivial.
When to Dress:
Hopefully you dress whenever entering a public place. The best advice is to wear something that you find comfortable, appealing, and gives you confidence. If that happens to be the same as the latest trend, wear it. There’s nothing ‘basic’ about looking good and feeling good. If it doesn’t, find something else. Trends are like ocean currents, following them works best if they’re going to take you where you were already planning to go.
When to Arrive:
15 minutes early. This is just a good practice.
When to Cry:
Cry at funerals and at weddings and during Grey’s anatomy and that scene in I Am Legend when that thing happens (you know the one I’m talking about) and on rainy days and when you’re menstruating and when you’re not and when you’re stressed and when you’re excited and when you’re on the phone with your mom late at night and when you feel alone and when you go through a breakup and when you get tired and when you’re laughing so hard that you can’t breathe. Cry whenever you need to, because once you finish, you’ll be ready to take on the world.
