Frankly, my dear, I do give a damn.

I would be remiss if I did not bring up something that has been plaguing my thoughts for a while, now. But, don’t you worry, my little tirade will be just that – little. If I were getting paid by the word, like Charles Dickens, I would gladly write the next great American (or British) novel called, The Tale Of Two Worlds, the one where ladies and gentlemen exist in jubilant harmony and the one of harsh reality.

You see, there is something that has come to my attention over the past few years of my collegiate career and that is the age old question: where has all the chivalry gone? Amongst the self-proclaimed do-gooders who pride themselves on being true Southern gentlemen, here at our beloved institution, where can I go to place my order for a handsome, charming, gentleman? 

Everywhere I look, it seems that the fine young adults who attend our college, or any college, are set on finding their perfect counterpart who puts them on a pedestal and treats them like a king or queen. Yet, the closer I look, there is nothing royal about the way these individuals act. Call me blunt, controversial – whatever you want – just give me a chance to explain my conjecture about why we, as scholars, are unable to find this magical state of bliss. 

Take a typical night out on The Square, for example. I walk into the bar, pushing through an overwhelming crowd of sweaty guys who ogle every girl who walks through the door. As I attempt to order a drink, I hear the “So, uhh, you have, uhh, nice hair,” as he stares about 12 inches south of my hairline. Then he ditches the futile attempt to politely start a conversation and, instead, says something vulgar and sexist.

You are sitting there thinking, wow, blame it all on the male sex, but that is where you are wrong, my friend. The bigger problem is how we women act. Let’s jump back to the bar, which is swarming with girls scantily clad in outfits that would make their fathers cry. Words come out of their mouths that suggest they have completely forgotten their humble Christian upbringing. The gyrations that we like to call dancing, coupled with excessive drinking and desperate acts to score would turn any adult from either gender off, if observed from a sensible angle.

I am not saying you cannot look good, have a drink and have fun. However, what I am suggesting is perhaps the reason people find themselves in an endless string of meaningless hookups is because they are not putting themselves out there in the right way. 

If more girls were willing to be ladies, more boys would be challenged to be gentlemen. This does not mean the road will not have bumps along the way, but I would like to think that if I stop looking and portray myself as the lady I am, I will stumble upon the man who is meant for me and acts as he should. After all, to alter the words of Cher Horowitz ever so slightly, “Searching for a boy [in college] is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.” Alas, a girl can dream. 

Ladies, just act like ladies. Gentlemen, step it up and earn the title. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, but I am certain there is a Rhett to my Scarlett, preferably one with a happy ending, and as I follow the road paved with respect, modesty and decorum, I’m confident I will get my blissful Tara and my gentleman.