Hi, so I'm still heated even though it's been 3 weeks and I'm being selfish again and ranting about my personal life and desperately attempting to make it relatable to everyone else. Welcome. This is the reason I haven't written in a while, so let's start from the beginning.

The Origins: Critical Theory

I am taking a critical theory course for this spring 2019 semester, which discusses theorists such as Marx and Derrida and Freud. On the first day of class (you know, syllabus day), my professor was explaining what she expects of us and one thing was that she wants us to do a 20-page research paper on "something we observe in society." AKA become a theorist ourselves. We were expected to observe our society and really think about what we wanted to discuss. Since that day, the only thing my pessimistic little brain has tunnel visioned was how completely selfish human beings can be and how we fail at taking self-accountability for our actions, especially when we mess up.

That concept in itself covers a ton of ideas from failing to protect the environment, putting others down for the sheer fact of making ourselves feel better, etc. (I'm not trying to expose my entire 20-page research paper before I'm done with it). I was really back and forth on the topic because I didn't want to come across as this really bitter person, but something happened on Friday, March 22nd.

The Accident

To many a long story a little shorter, my boyfriend and I got into a car accident. We were making a left turn, had yielded for well over 5 minutes, yet were t-boned. A woman was speeding in her Kia SUV and slammed into us on my side. Not only that, but we later realized she had never hit her breaks, but instead sped up. I understand that it was an accident, she didn't mean to hit us. I understand that people react differently to situations like that. However, what I will be heated about is her inability to have any self-accountability.

Legally, my boyfriend was in the wrong. He shouldn't have gone until the roads were completely clear (it was a busy day). 3 weeks later and a clearer head, I get this. Yet she had never apologized to me, the only one injured. The only thing she ever said was "I wasn't speeding", which she had been. She could not seem to understand that she was equally accountable. If she had been driving 5 to 10 miles an hour faster, I probably wouldn't be here today. She would have smothered the driver's side door into me and I would have been smashed in between the door and middle console. She couldn't take accountability for that. She couldn't apologize. She refused to take any sort of blame or responsibility.

After that incident, I was incredibly sure that is what I wanted my research topic to be.

Every Day Life

I'm sure this isn't just me. I'm sure many people have experience situations like this, probably less intense but my point still stands. For example, when you're doing a group project and that one person refuses to pull their weight but they still get the same grade as you. Should you try to get the professor involved, they always have an excuse as to why they're not doing as much as everyone else. When someone bumps into you at Walmart, obviously too into their phone, and they just glare at you like you should have been the one watching where you were going.

This type of stuff happens every day, and no one is innocent. We all do it. We're human. However, the first step into stopping is to acknowledge it. Acknowledge when you're in the wrong and own up to it. Don't be afraid to admit when you're at fault. Don't be afraid to apologize. Don't be afraid to be human. Constantly deflecting and refusing to take accountability for your actions is only going to continue and fester within our society. We are united as humans. We should be responsible.