Everyone remembers the first time they discovered a label maker. The wonder in your eyes as you begin printing a million little words and stuck them on everything- even the cat. I guess from a young age, it's engrained in our heads that everything, or everyone, needs a label.
Everyone labels people. As soon as we meet them we categorize them into small sections: tall, blonde, hipster, funny, smart. All these labels are harmless, but what happens when the labels start to pressure others into conforming into them? What happens when we don't define the labels, the labels define us?
I myself have felt the pressure of labels particularly as it pertains to my sexual orientation. As young as 13, when I started questioning my identity, I felt pressured to "pick a side" as so many had said in the culture around me. So, at the age of 16, I came out to my friends and family as a lesbian. For the next year of my life, I lived as an "out and proud" lesbian. I did everything I thought defined this label of me- wore flannels, described boys as "gross", and constantly mentioned the fact that I was, in fact, very very gay. I would even have people walking up to me that I had never spoken to, telling me I was so brave to be out, and once had a girl tell me she had "never seen a real one before". Although all this didn't feel quite right to me, it seemed to appease everyone else, so I continued being that label.
But, a few months ago something happened. I suddenly realized I didn't just like girls after all. I started to panic. I was constantly terrified of trying to find out what was wrong with me that suddenly I wasn't the person I thought I was. I finally came to terms with that I did in fact like boys, and even gender conforming people. Most people, if you asked, would call this pansexual. I like to call this human. I choose not to label myself because I'm not going to be defined by my sexuality any longer.
The final step in my overcoming of labels is the hardest, and I'm still working on it. I have to constantly explain to people why I'm not "gay" anymore, why I'm not telling them who I like anymore - but thats the beauty in choosing not to label yourself.
You don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to tell them your sexuality. You don't have to inform them of who you like or what's going on in your mind. That's your information to share. Never feel pressured into labelling yourself. It terrified me for years, trying to find the right label, none of them fitting me just right. You are you and that is not going to change no matter who or what you like. People who care about you won't care about your labels. People who only care about your labels, well, they don't care about the person underneath that label.
