A Kylie Jenner GoFundMe Page? Really?

To The Trolls Who Make Irrelevant Crowdsourcing Campaigns, Why Are You The Way You Are?

First it was Kim with the internet, and now its Kylie.

"Two things are infinite. The universe and human stupidity... And I'm not so sure about the Universe." - Albert Einstein (maybe)

Forbes reported on July 11, 2018, that famous celebrity and social media influence, Kylie Jenner, is en route to be the youngest self-made billionaire ever. What a wonderful accomplishment to achieve. A young hard working woman invested in herself and the results have been nothing short of substantial. Congratulations Kylie! You have done wonderfully for yourself. She is said to be $100 million dollars shy of her milestone and social media, once again, reduces our faith in humanity.

A comedian, whom is very unfunny and won't be mentioned, "satirically" created a GoFundMe campaign for Kylie with a goal equal to the amount of her milestone. The description of the campaign reads "Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT."

Of course, this is a joke, right?

No, it's not. Since its berth on July 11, 2018, the very same day that Forbes reported, it has been shared over 7,000 times on Facebook and received over $2000 dollars in donations in a span of two days. It will have probably accumulated more by the time this article is published and read.

Now before anyone wants to say "it's seriously a joke" and "you shouldn't criticize someone who worked to get where they are at." Stop trying to change the narrative. I am by no means criticizing Kylie at all. She has nothing to do with it in actuality. The problem lies in humanity and the monster that is social media.

I'm not going to sit here and lecture anyone about what they could really donate their money too and list all the problems that are going on that could use more attention than this subject. I don't care what you do with the money that you work to earn. The objective of this article is to show where humanity is headed. One woman joked on Twitter to say "Skipping my child support payments to help this fierce female become an iconic billionaire! I believe my daughters would support this if I were allowed contact with them!!!!" Now, this may have been a joke, but this joke is slowly becoming a harsh reality for humanity with every $5 donation that this campaign receives.

I'm all for a good joke, but how does a "joke" become a movement?

Cover Image Credit:

@kyliejenner / Instagram

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Mr. Steve Harvey, Why Do You Make It Black Family vs White Family?

I Guess I've Always Wanted To Know

Mr. Harvey,

First let me tell you what a true fan I am of you. I can't tell you how often you make me laugh, even when I'm in the middle of an at home workout and am kinda miserable. You make watching enjoyable, and I'm pretty sure you'd be pleased to know you bring that kind of happiness to so many people.

I'm not writing this to start conflict because believe me, Family Fued is one of my favorite shows to watch. I guess I'm just curious and was wondering if you could help clear the air.

I am genuinely eager to know as to why you always have different races go against one another. In my extended family, we are very mixed. White, Black, Chinese, and I wonder if any of us would ever even get to go on Family Fued-not because of it being an overly popular show that everyone wants a chance to go on, but because we aren't all white, all black, all Asian, all Indian, etc.

I hate hearing-

The black team lost.

The Asians won.

The Asians lost.

The white team won.

The black team won.

The white team lost.

You get my point.

If I went on the show, I want people to say, the WILSON'S won (or lost but I would hope to win obviously). I don't want to hear: "Oh that team of mixed people won." We aren't mixed, we're a family with different skin color, but why should that be what identifies us?

I'm sure a lot of people will say I'm finding something to complain over, and please understand those aren't my intentions. I'm just hoping to get answers-if not from you-from anyone as to why it's normally, always-white vs. black.

Maybe it's out of your control, and maybe it's something you've never even thought of before. Regardless of the two, take a second to think about it. Take a day, a month, a year, or forever, I don't care. Just actually think about what it says.

Doesn't it say these families are feuding against one another?

Haven't whites vs. black done this enough in the past?

I really want to live in a world where our skin colors don't define us, and with a show like yours-one that I so deeply, truly, love, I had to tell you.

I'd like to see two white families up there duking it out. Change up the game a little bit, that way the world doesn't always see a white vs black competition.

Then let's get a family of a white mom, black dad, mixed kids and an adopted Chinese brother in there. Whatever, let's just stop relying so much on the looks to separate us.

I'm a relatively competitive girl, and I need for everyone to understand-no matter what race, religion, sexual identity you roll with, I will still try to take you down..

In all serious Mr. Harvey,

I'm proud of my diverse family. We all have a lot of strengths that I think could make your game pretty interesting. But would a family of mixed people ever be allowed to play? How would it work?

I hope, Mr. Harvey, that you consider changing the rules because I think you'd be surprised with the families out there who are waiting to kick ass on your show.

*cough cough*.

Cover Image Credit: http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/watch-craziest-answer-family-feud/story?id=28918628

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"Russian Doll" Is Just a Groundhog of Another Color

Natasha Lyonne stars in the new dramedy that plays off a familiar trope.


I'm mostly writing this article to prove a friend wrong.

Haha, what? No, no, no I'm not that petty…okay maybe a little bit. But he's wrong! He's really, really wrong! But maybe we agree on what we're talking about?

What? You want me to go back to the beginning? I can't—

Oh, alright.

So, last week Thursday I had the Netflix original, Russian Doll, recommended to me by no less than three people in a span of four hours. It was good! It was so good! That was the claim they all made, anyways. And they're my friends, after all. I trust them with my TV-watching habits.

So, I tuned in. That very night. I watched.

The first episode was good…and that's kind of it.

Don't get me wrong! In a world rife with uninspired content that doesn't quite hit the mark, it was good. But it wasn't overly so. Not in the kind of preach to the heavens way that my friends had approached me with.

But I shrugged it off. I kept watching. The episodes were only about a half hour, after all. Surely, it'd get better. Surely, it would reach soaring, post-Icarian heights that man could only dream of. Going where none had gone before.

But it didn't. It merely stayed good.

Now, don't get me wrong, that's no small feat. There's plenty of shows that start off good and get the better of themselves as time goes on (looking at you Supernatural). Even as the latest season of Black Mirror is showing us, nothing lasts forever.

So, I tip my hat to you Russian Doll. To your darkly tragicomic self, a buddy comedy taking direct inspiration from Groundhog Day.

Wait, Groundhog Day?

Yes, that's where my friend is indelibly wrong.

A solid purveyor of the concept that nothing is that original anymore, my friend asserts that apparently Russian Doll is distinctly different from Groundhog Day. Which is utter bologna.

I am going to describe a piece of media content in this paragraph: A snarky, stressed out, contemptuous fella finds themself stuck in a time loop. Every time they die, the loop resets, putting them back to the exact same singular moment that they first heard the gentle, drifting melody of a slightly too-upbeat pop song. They try to escape the time loop by fleeing, by dying, by doing literally anything they can. That's when they realize it's futile and that they'll be stuck forever, perhaps even erased from existence, unless they can become a better person.

Now, which product did I describe: Groundhog Day or Russian Doll?

Truth is, I can't tell either.

That's not to say there's nothing distinctive about Russian Doll. Natasha Lyonne is wildly funny and I loved the idea of her being trapped with a "partner in crime" in Charlie Bennett's Alan. The setting is obviously different too (New York vs. Punxsutawney) and the character's drug use provides for some trippy fun, there's no denying.

But in theme, tone, and a lot of jokes, Russian Doll can't escape the shadow of Groundhog Day.

Hell, even in this review in which they try to avoid talking about Groundhog Day they can't avoid talking about Groundhog Day.

And for good reason! Groundhog Day is a brilliant movie that condensed a brilliant concept for a generation. It's such a common staple of contemporary culture that the military widely uses the terminology "Groundhog Day" in its slang. Christ, even Congress has preserved it for all time in its library.

The influence is inescapable and anyone who says differently doesn't know what they're talking about.

Now, does that mean Russian Doll is unoriginal? Or that nothing Hollywood makes nowadays is all that original? No, of course not. To offer a slight concurrence with my friend, everything really does derive from something. One has to look no farther than Jason Campbell's monomyth to realize the stories that we tell are rarely "original" in the lofty ways that we ideally think about them.

But the well-worn trope of living in a time loop, unable to escape via death, only via some higher power or greater good, is so thick in Russian Doll that it's similarities to Groundhog Day are particularly noxious. The show would not be evaluated in the same terms today if it had been released in 1992, forever and a day before Groundhog Day premiered. And that matters.

But Noah, if nothing's original how come you hate Russian Doll more than, say, Black Mirror? Isn't Black Mirror just a reimagining of The Twilight Zone?

Well, firstly, I never said I hated Russian Doll. I happen to like Russian Doll very much. And Black Mirror certainly can't escape its own history, which is necessarily inclusive of The Twilight Zone. Rod Serling's masterpiece series perfected the spooky, thought-provoking anthology series like nothing else before it. Of that there's no denying.

I would contend, however, that Black Mirror does not rely on a singular trope to form its core. While Russian Doll isn't Russian Doll without the die, live, repeat gimmick, remove any similar singular element from Black Mirror, say artificial intelligence, and the show still stands. It moves and breathes of its own accord. While both shows are (mostly) masterfully written, Nadia Vulvokov simply plays the drug-addled redhead to Murray's weatherman Phil Connors if they both don't die and live again.

So call me petty. A hater. A downer. A Debbie downer even. Bottom line? Russian Doll is great. Just not too great.

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