Kombucha: A Guide for Beginners (In 3 Easy Steps)
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

Kombucha: A Guide for Beginners (In 3 Easy Steps)

Join me.

23
Kombucha: A Guide for Beginners (In 3 Easy Steps)
Pinterest

Unless you haven’t visited the Café within the past several months, you may have noticed a new, fancy-looking drink sitting on the top shelf in the outermost right fridge wall just above the yogurt and apple juice. Contained within an ornate glass bottle is a questionable liquid of varying colors, with floating hunks of God-knows-what lazily floating near the bottom. Perhaps you choose to buy one such bottle, and upon cracking the lid you are met with a smell and taste that rivals raw vinegar and a hint of fermentation. You are skeptical as to whether or not this should be consumed, and end up throwing it away halfway through the drink, thus wasting nearly five precious dollars of your meal plan money.

With this, I’d like to give you a warm welcome into the Kombucha-drinking world.

Kombucha is an ancient drink that originates from eastern Asia, and while health nuts around the globe have sworn by its supposed health benefits, there is little proof as to whether or not those claims are entirely sound. Although, if you ask me, I’ll be damned if I didn’t say that my digestive system is in pretty good shape. Is it because of the tea? Perhaps. But I drink it anyways, because I think it’s delicious.

Now, you may be wondering; but Caroline, you just said it smelled like vinegar and mold! How can you think it’s delicious?

Easy. As a person who buys literal armfuls of this stuff and drinks it like water (I, no joke, have drank three bottles within the past twelve hours), I feel as though I am qualified and ready to teach you the ways of the ‘bucha. With that being said, let me show you how to get into kombucha, in a few easy steps.

1. Take baby steps.

When I first started drinking this magical juice that is probably slowly pickling my insides, I started off by buying the least-offensive looking flavor that I could pinpoint just by sight. It was still a rather offensive taste regardless, but it had a certain... allure to it. It was like drinking coffee for the first time; part of me cringed with every sip, but I still found myself relentlessly drinking it.

With that being said, I would recommend buying a flavor like mango or guava; something that is mellower in taste, but still recognizable as the paint thinner we know as kombucha. After getting used to the mellower flavors, it’ll get easier and easier to become familiar with the more abrasive flavors. It hasn’t changed my tolerance for acidic beverages, but hey, that’s what being caucasian does to your gastric reflux.

2. Once you start, don’t stop drinking it.

It’s important that, once you start with your kombucha journey, you should try not to stop until you have fully accustomed yourself to the flavor and smell of the drink. Commit to the bit; don’t be a quitter. This also applies to drinking the whole of the contents of the bottle-- and I’m not just saying that because I get salty when I see half-drank bottles sitting around. Urghhh...

3. Budget, budget, budget...

At Valparaiso University, it costs $4.59 for a bottle of kombucha (the fact that I know this tells you the kind of person I am, and I am proud of it). It’s important to prioritize your money so that you don’t blow all your money on it once you inevitably fall in love with it and crave it all the time. If you don’t believe me, you are shrewd and naïve and have more innocence than I have ever had.

Here’s an example of that budgeting in action: since I have a sophomore meal plan, I calculated that I would have enough money to buy a bottle of kombucha every day and still have some left over for regular meal expenses without putting a strain on my budget. If I applied this kind of thinking to my real-life finances I’d probably be having real-life tennis matches with Bill Gates by now.

So there you have it; three easy steps to assimilate into the kombucha lifestyle. Now excuse me while I crawl back into my recycle bin and sort through all these glass bottles that are littered across my room.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53509
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34410
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956929
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181660
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments