I Appreciate Ever Piece Of Criticism And Advice That I Learned From My Older Sister By The Age Of 20

I Appreciate Ever Piece Of Criticism And Advice That I Learned From My Older Sister By The Age Of 20

Thanks for doing life before me and finding the right paths for me.

Growing up with an older sister is both a blessing and a curse. (I mean the curse part very lightly sis) It’s always easier, in my opinion, to be the younger sister because the older sister has gone through everything you will have to first. Like getting in a relationship, getting her period, driving the car, getting a curfew, and all well having to abide by parents rules and set a good example for the younger siblings.

As the older sister I understand you want nothing but the best for your younger sister and while at times I felt like you were my second mom or even scolded me more than mom actually did, I still appreciate every single bit of advice and criticism you have ever given me.

Dear older sister,

You're about to read a long rant about everything that I can think of that you have ever taught me. Try not to get bored or laugh or cry, alright go.

I learned that going off on your own is scary.

Excuse me for my cussing to my family that is reading, but you always had your shit together. Man, that was annoying having to fill your shoes in high school. It was always “oh aren’t you her little sister?” Once I was finally going to a college that you had not even come close to touching I was excited to be my own self and carry my name without yours attached to it, but this ended up not being the case.

I was a small fish in a big sea of people and I missed the familiarity of you once being there. I got lost walking to class on my first day and thought “how in the world do people do this whole college thing” to be more specific “how in the world does my sister do this and keep her shit together?” Once I got homework I envied that we were in different majors and that I couldn't just call you and ask if you knew what you were doing because I didn't.

When I had to run to the store to run errands I had to be an adult and find things on my own, it was weird not being in the passenger seat or not having you next to me in the car on the aux. I realized I had to go out into the real world without you next to me (or ahead of me) I had to try to follow your footsteps without actually seeing your footsteps right there in front of me.

I learned that I am young and need to be on my own for as long as I can.

This one took me a while to figure out. I’m sorry I didn’t read any of your obvious flashing hazardous signs telling me to get out of all of my terrible relationships I held on to for so long. The truth is, I knew you didn’t like a lot of the guys I would date and I really did value your opinion and that’s why I tried so hard to prove you wrong thinking “I can change this one” and “you two will be best friends before you know it” yeah that never happened and it’s because I am finally, finally done fighting and letting you have this one.

I really do appreciate you letting me figure it out in my own timespan because if I heard any guy was treating you the way I was being treate, I would kill them before you had a chance to breakup with them (I’m pretty sure you may have tried to schedule that with my exes but you’re so undercover so I’m not positive) But through the bad realtionships and even the good ones you were always there to tell me I am more than enough on my own and a strong young woman that should embrace my independence.

No one has been able to change who I thought I was, which is a girl who loves to be in a relationship, until now. You have taught me the beauty of being young and independent, thank you.

I learned not to let anyone tell me I can't, including myself.

Well everyone but you. You are always there to tell me "You can't post that picture on Instagram I'm posting it." or "You can't wear that top with those pants they clash with my outfit." Other than the silly little things you were always the one telling me how much I really could do.

You not only told me but proved to me that 'the world is your oyster' and you can go off and do whatever you feel like doing. Because of this, I am not afraid to go to unfamiliar places, and I'm ready to explore and travel the world even if it seems like an unrealistic dream.

You inspired me to not be so afraid to speak up for what I think is right because I have a voice and it should be heard. (Maybe you shouldn't have helped me with this one because my big mouth is partially because of you, and from time to time does work in my favor in arguments we have.)

You have taught me that I am my biggest enemy and I needed someone to tell me this so that I can work with myself and be the best version of myself that I can be.

I learned the meaning of a true hard worker

Even though I was jealous of you my whole life for being the smarter one and getting straight A's always, I am happy for you. You managed to handle your entire life of school in multiple sports at the same time and numerous school organizations and you still had it all together.

You had a great social life, literally, everyone that meets you loves you, and you are such a genuine person. You deserve nothing but good Karma, and you do. You showed me how to handle being in multiple organizations at the same time and how to put your all into everything you do. Are you sure you don't have superpowers?

I learned to like things I didn't always because you love them.

So I'm the girly girl and you're the tomboy- total opposites but we make the best pair. Let me tell you from the most uncoordinated girl around, I do not like sports. I can't play them, I can't follow them, I can't watch them without getting bored, but I will always have a soft spot for softball. I came out of the womb when you were playing T-ball and never stopped watching you play since.

You would make me play catch with you the second I had working limbs. I would always drop the ball but you still asked me to play every night because you loved it and wanted to get better (and god knows you wanted me to get better too.) When I got to the age I could play on an actual softball team you practiced and practiced with me because you wanted to share the love you have for the sport with me.

I prayed I would make the team every night because I didn't want to disappoint you, even though I knew I sucked and would never be as good as you (shocker you're good at something?) You didn't give up on me so I knew I could never give up on you, even though I had to give up on softball, that was just your thing. But I couldn't give it up completely. I spent just about every weekend every summer since I was 10 sitting in the hot sun just watching you play, sometimes thinking "God when will this game end please let it end."

Some games were miserable to watch, some I brought my Nintendo DS to because I couldn't handle watching any more softball but at the end of the day learned to love softball, not as much as you do, but I love watching you play more than anything.

I learned that when all else fails your sister will always be there for you

Ew, what a gross cliche but I had to end on a sappy note. I’ve been through break ups and mass destruction ending of friendships, failing classes and crying into your arms just asking “when does adulting get easier” and you were always there. You were the friend that I knew I could always go to with absolutely no judgment.

It got weird when you became a teenager and I was still just a tween and you told me about your first boyfriend and told me not to tell mom and dad. (how could you make a 10-year-old keep that kind of secret) But once our boy talk began and there was talk much deeper than "I have a boyfriend" in 6th grade, there was no turning back.I know I can talk to you about anything and everything and we could go on into a conversation for hours.

I don't think anyone knows the bond two sisters close in age have. You saved my ass so many times keeping my secrets from mom and dad (sorry parents I know you're probably reading) You stood up to my bullies with me and let me handle my own battles when I needed to, you taught me how to be me and accepted every aspect of me.

There's no way to say thank you for everything you have taught me but this was my really sappy attempt. Thanks for doing life before me and finding the right paths for me. I love you sister. Keep teaching me.


Your stupid younger sister

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Gardner

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.

Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Sister About To Move Away, Girl, You've Got This

You may not physically be here right now, but you're always with our family.


You were there on the day I was born, somehow sleeping soundly as our mom gave birth to me. I'll never forget the photograph of her presenting me to the world and you sitting beside her, holding up your newly-purchased beanie baby with pride as if being handed this toy was equal to the miracle of birth.

It was a crab, by the way, which somehow makes it funnier.

Growing up, you loved to trick me. You'd make me do chores for you and steal my favorite Barbies, but I think that's just part of being an older sister. I'd stick my tongue out at you and cry out the same phrase, "Mooooom, Sissy is being mean to me!" In fact, I yelled this phrase so often that it began to take on a musical quality.

You were mean at times, but you always had my back. You physically beat up other children that had wronged me, and you let me crawl into your bed so we could watch TV together and exchange stories. We'd often immerse ourselves in fantasy worlds where we were princesses and we rode unicorns side-by-side.

But we grew up, and our fantasy world evaporated like the muddy puddles we'd play in after stormy nights. One second it was there, and then, it was just gone. I remember having a conversation a few years back where we wondered if we had known the last time we played Barbies would, in fact, be our last.

When I was a seventh grader, you were a junior in high school. Our problems were very different back then, but that didn't stop us from talking endlessly about them. We were so similar. We bonded over cheerleading, cute boys, books and music. But even more than that, we bonded over our similar life views and questions about the universe. We both possessed an innate love for life yet we were both distrustful of society's guidelines.

Watching you enter new life phases enthralled me. I thought, Wow, that will be me someday. I danced around the house in each of your four prom dresses, my imagination taking me to a place much grander than a high school gymnasium. Through your stories, I romanticized the future and hoped that I would be as cool as you.

It was a little tough at times, though, always longing for a different part of life. When I entered junior high, all I wanted was to be in high school. When I entered high school, I decided college was much cooler because that's what you said. And you were certainly right about that one.

You were the only one I felt comfortable sharing my writing with, the only one I knew could read the meaning behind my sideways glances. We just got each other in every way.

And we still do. To this day, you are one of the people I love and trust most. I don't know what I am going to do without you by my side, as you've been right there for 20 years. But I'm so proud of you. Of the many things we would lay around and talk about throughout the years, one topic persisted: moving away. Moving used to be a pipe dream, something beautiful that lived in your mind but would never come to pass.

And then you took a chance. And now that dream is a reality.

I want you to know how much I admire you. You are so incredible and resilient. I've never met anyone so strong-minded and willing to fight for what she believes in. You would never compromise yourself or your values for another person, but you are generous with others and so kind-hearted.

You are curious about the world and have a desire to learn about life and the richness it has to offer. That is a special quality that cannot be learned. You are beautiful in every way and are truly a blessing to have as a sister.

And it is from these very qualities and so many others that I know you will do great on your own. Sure, it's super tough at first; nobody said it would be easy. But if anyone can do it, then that person is certainly you.

I will always cherish our moments together, and you can always count on me to be there on the sidelines cheering you on, no matter where your adventure takes you.

Much love,

Your Little Sis

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