God loves us, Jesus loves us, go to Mass, receive the sacraments, follow the 10 Commandments, love thy neighbor, and other assorted Catholic things. I’ve learned basically the same thing in religion class for 14 years. I can recite the books of the Bible (in song form) as easily as I can count. I know I’m extremely privileged, having been able to attend Catholic school since pre-K, but the most tedious, unhelpful aspect of each school is religion.

Going to Catholic school has given me the best education possible: the small size allows for more individual attention from teachers, we moved through material at a steady pace, and classes were balanced between lectures, tests and projects. I love to learn, no doubt influenced by the great education I’ve received from these Catholic institutions. The one thing my Catholic education did not foster was a close relationship with God.

I’m sick of Catholicism. Years of learning about Jesus and attending weekly Masses pushed me away from my faith. I like some tenets of Catholicism, such as treating others as you wish to be treated and valuing your relationships over materialism, but I also disagree with certain aspects, such as the rejection of divorce. I don’t see the appeal; I don’t need to hear homilies to know I should be helping others, I don’t need to confess my sins through a priest to receive absolution, I don’t need to learn, yet again, how Jesus multiplied loaves and cured paralysis and turned water into wine and rebuked the Pharisees. What I need to learn is how to act for others. Instead of teaching Bible courses each year, take us on weekly volunteering excursions or teach us about other religious traditions and how they compare to Catholicism. Acknowledge Catholicism’s flaws, encourage debates over traditions and tenets and do not shy away from challenging questions.

Many of my Catholic school friends agree with me; most decided to attend colleges without a religious affiliation because of their desire to escape the religious side of school. My high school was notorious for making us attend the same religious assemblies each year. By our senior year, the mere mention of an assembly on St. Madeline Sophie or St. Phillipine Duschene evoked loud groans and complaints. All we learned from those assemblies was how to nap in uncomfortable folding chairs, study Spanish flashcards that were stashed in blazer pockets or improve our body art skills by drawing on our legs.

I still believe in God and I still consider myself a Catholic, but I doubt I will ever become devout. I’ve become too jaded to fully believe in the goodness of the church and the value of Catholicism. All I want to do is be a good person, not a good Catholic.