Know Your Why

Know Your Why

What's it all for?
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Attention, all artists, writers, actors and athletes;

leaders, musicians, coaches, conductors;

teachers and pastors, students and priests;

parents and children, mentors and friends;

waiters and priests and bouncers and clerks;

wanderers, homebodies; any of the above–


This one’s for you.

Here’s your challenge. Ready?


Who is this for? This life that you live. and the things that you do, and the things about you that make you uniquely you…

What do you do it all for?

A guest speaker came to one of my classes the other day and discussed her ministry’s driving philosophies. She works with middle and high school students in communities, seeking to introduce them to Jesus Christ. And the challenge she always finds herself facing in nearly any moment of leadership:

“What am I trying to win them to?”

My personality? My confident leadership? My winsome words?

My programs, ideas, merchandise? The things I’m excited about and the things I think are best?

My talent, my sport, my craft, my art?

Are these the things I’m relying on?

Why?

Do I seek to please the people around me?
Or what’s more, do I seek to please myself?

All so empty, yet why do I try to find life here?

These questions, of course, lend themselves to another challenge:

From our friends at Adidas:

“Know your why.”

But do we know our “why?”

In my Biblical Worldview class, we watched the music video of Eminem’s “When I’m Gone” (the non-explicit version, I promise), and his internal struggles as an artist and a father struck me, as his daughter brings to light his inconsistencies:

It’s too late dad; you made your choice

Now go out there and show em that you love em more than us

That’s what they want

They want you, Marshall

They keep screamin’ your name

As he fights to be a father, a husband, a member of a family, he finds himself enslaved to the demands of fame, fortune, and fans. His identity, for so long, became rooted in his artistry and name that he struggles to break free from what the crowds want him to be. And his daughter sees it. She knows he’s chosen the stage. And he sees that it hurts. And through his words he wrestles with a new paradigm shift: to discover not merely something more to do, but to uncover why he does the things we see him do.

What is our goal? What is our aim? Why do we do what we do?

It’s rooted in something deeper. This is an issue not of career and hobby, but of identity.

Author and speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer once said,

I am a human being, not a human doing. Don't equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren't what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don't...you aren't."

There it is. Identity.

I fear for those of us that hide behind the masks of what we do. Because, when we don’t… we aren’t.

Arguably this can, in turn, become an issue of worship: who are we going to serve?

Even the Apostle Paul has to check himself:

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” ~Gal 1:10

If he were trying to please and serve those around him, his identity would change. His worth and very reasons for life would shift.

It brings to mind the questions 90’s band dc Talk poses:

Is this one for the people?

Is this one for the Lord?

Or do I simply serenade

for things I must afford?

You can jumble them together

My conflict still remains

Holiness is calling

In the midst of courting fame

Are we people-pleasers?

Are we servants of God?

Or do we simply go through the motions out of necessity for material things?

Regardless, we’re called to holiness.

“…but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” ~1 Pet 1:15-16

It’s not what we do; it’s who we are.

I’m a worship leader. I get up on that stage weekend after weekend, school chapel after chapel, and every time, it’s imperative I consider:

Why am I here?
Why do I do this?
Who am I going to serve?

In the book of Joshua, God renews the covenant with His people, and Joshua challenges them with an ultimatum:

“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” ~Josh 24:15

So I ask myself:

Am I glorifying my talents?

Am I proving I can do this?

Am I seeking to impress?

Or am I choosing to serve the Lord?

It’s not what you do; it’s who you are.

Know your why.

What are you trying to win them to?

But what’s more: who are you going to serve?

As for me, may I ever serve the Lord.

Take heart, friends.

Grace and peace.

K







Cover Image Credit: Intentionally Refined

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
31400
views

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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How Incorporating Organization In My Daily Routine Single-Handedly Changed My Life

And how it can structure yours.

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It would be a complete fabrication of the truth if I pretended that my life in any way has been picture perfect. Things are messy, life is messy, and my life becomes an endless cycle of self provoked destruction.

I've had short bursts of motivation as a last expedient to seize control of the downward spiral I have endured. But mostly they have diminished along with any motivation I have left.

None of these short term solutions have yet to salvage my mental, physical, and academic state. SO, as an attempt to overhaul my life, I decided the best way to strive for control, is to organize every aspect of my life.

Yes, this could become unhealthy if I used this tactic as a way to tear myself down or over analyze my accomplishments, or lack thereof. But I try to view my life as something I have a say in while considering that not everything will be perfect or completely satisfy my goals for myself.

To successfully enact this measure, I try to never go into a day unaware of what I must accomplish, what tasks/work I have to attend to, and stocked with a full calendar and set of alarms that prevent me from missing deadlines. Although mildly time-consuming to detail my life in advance, it is greatly beneficially outweighed through the amount of time this tactic saves me.

Recently, I have noticed how much happier I have been, and feel as if my life is back on track and it's future in my hands. This has allowed me to work an upwards of 50 something hours a week, see and manage friends, read and keep up with hobbies, as well as give me peace of mind and time to relax with loved ones.

I am grateful for the role that organization has played in my life and suggest that everyone incorporate some type of underlying structure in their lives, to realize that anything is achievable with proper organizational preparation.


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