Kindness And Honesty Can Coexist

Kindness And Honesty Can Coexist

It isn't difficult to choose both if you stop and think before you speak.
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We live in a world where we are constantly asking and answering questions. We want to know when to meet, what people think of the characters of the new series on Netflix, if we should wear the dress or go as is. These questions require answers, and while a yes or no may suffice in some cases, more thought goes into that yes or no than you may think.

Being honest is really hard sometimes. You don't want to hurt the feelings of people who are important to you, but you also don't want to feed them lies because it makes you feel guilty. You want everyone to be happy.

Say your friend asks you if you like the dress she tried on. If you are honest, you tell them yes or no, maybe you sugar coat it. What do you do if it's the worst dress to have ever ended up in stores and you can't believe they chose it? You say...what? Do you tell them that the dress will sit in their closet and never see the light of day? Maybe you tell them it isn't your style but they can pull it off? Perhaps even tell them that it doesn't flatter them in any way. Which situation is going to lead to a positive outcome where you don't lie to yourself or them? Honesty is important in any relationship, but there is a classy way to go about it.

If you're unsure as to how to go about it, think about what you would want someone to tell you in that situation. Do you want to know if there is something in your teeth? If your hair looks okay? Yeah? Well I'm sure your friend would want to know too and would appreciate you telling them without alerting the whole party.

What do you do at work if there is a task that your boss asks you to do and you don't have time? Do you tell them no? Yes? I will get to it when I can? You may not want to do it but it is a part of the job so you have to. It may be something extra but it will help your career so you take it on. Maybe they really were just too busy and needed help. You can ask questions about it. Make sure you aren't overloading yourself as you try to get through your usual workload.

With family it can be easy to be honest with some people, but not all with others. If your grandma gives you a hand knit sweater and wants you to wear it the rest of the day, there isn`t really a way to scratch your way out of that one.

Personally being honest with my immediate family is easier than being honest with grandparents or other relatives. With them, I know they may be disappointed I didn't like it, but they are glad they aren't paying money for something to sit around all day and collect dust.

With grandparents, they put time and effort into picking out something for you, or maybe they even made it. In that case you just have to accept that they love you and the itchy material doesn't have to be worn 24/7.

With yourself honesty can be hard too. There are times when you know something but choose to ignore the facts. There are others where you tell yourself not to get something because yes, it does look like you're wearing clown shoes when you put those on.

Honesty - true, kind honesty - is hard to come by these days. Sometimes it is best to be blunt. Other times you need to think about the other person and not grind their self esteem to dust. Each situation is different and requires a different tone, a different approach, and we all need to be aware of that.


Cover Image Credit: Texas Music Pickers

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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