Recently, I was watching one of the old Art Linkletter "Kids Say the Darndest Things" videos. I laughed as I watched some of the children's brutally honest and precocious answers to Art's seemingly benign questions, and I began to think about some of the things I have heard my kids say this year at summer camp. So for the benefit and laughter of anyone reading this article, I have decided to chronicle some of the best things the kids at my summer camp have said this year.
1. "Why are we listening to this? It's old-timey music, like from the '80s."
One day as we rode on the bus to one of our field trips, the bus driver turned on a classical station because all of the pop stations were playing commercials. One of the girls next to me exhaled loudly. "Why are we listening to this?" She complained. "It's old-timey music, like from the 80s."
Now, parents, if that doesn't make you feel old, I don't know what will.
2. "Oh. You look better with your glasses on."
I have worn glasses every day this summer, but recently I decided to get some trial contacts to try out and see how I like them. One of my students approached me the first day I was not wearing my glasses. "Where are your glasses, Miss Victoria?" she asked. I responded by telling her that I was wearing contacts to try them out. Her only response was, "Oh. You look better with your glasses on."
Thank you for your brutal honesty.
3. "Oh my goodness. You guys look like you're playing old-timey Pokemon Go, like with a map!"
On one of our field trips, the place we went was kind enough to set up a scavenger hunt for our kids. They received laminated pieces of paper, dry erase markers, and rags and had to fill in certain answers as they found them. After exploring for several minutes of the kids saw his teammates with their map and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness. You guys look like you're playing old-timey Pokemon Go, like with a map!"
Ah, yes. The old-timey days when we used maps to find things in real life and not imaginary video game characters were nice.
4. "But how can chocolate be your favorite food, Miss Victoria? You're so skinny!"
One day as I spent time talking with the children, we went around the room and said what our favorite food was. I, of course, told the children that my favorite food was chocolate and that I love anything with chocolate. One of the children exclaimed, "But how can chocolate be your favorite food, Miss Victoria? You're so skinny!"
I think it will come as no surprise that this student is now one of my favorites.
5. "Oh. Why would you put that stuff on your lips?"
One item of my appearance that intrigues my students has often been my makeup. They like to comment on what colors and shades I have chosen for the day. One of my girls, however, did not quite get it. "What is that on your lips, Miss Victoria?" She asked. "I'm wearing some red lipstick." I told her. "Oh. Why would you put that stuff on your lips?"
Needless to say, I have not been wearing any other daring shades.
6. One child shouted, "Pennsylvania." "Maine," another offered. Finally, one yelled, "New Zealand!"
On one of our field trips, the program was designed to teach the students about the underground railroad. It even included some questions to test the children's knowledge. "If you were a runaway slave, you would be trying to run away to a free state. Can you guys name any free states?" The instructor asked. One child shouted, "Pennsylvania." "Maine," another offered. Finally, one yelled, "New Zealand!"
Perhaps geography is simply not emphasized in school as much anymore.
7. "My girl wiener is hurting. I don't know what it is called."
My final story is one of my personal favorites. One day, one of my girls was sitting in the cafeteria with an upset look on her face. After one of my colleagues asked her what was wrong, she responded that her "girl wiener" hurt. The other teacher and I looked at each other and asked her what she meant. "My girl wiener is hurting. I don't know what it is called."
Well, it goes without saying that we did not tell her the anatomically correct term for that area of her body, and one day I hope to have my daughter refer to her private area as her "girl wiener."
