“Keep in touch” might be one of the most overused sayings in your high school yearbooks. Countless goodbyes come equipped with the adamant promises of weekly FaceTime calls, brunch dates, and staying in touch. But when life gets its ways and you’re going through college and life itself, those promises seem like they’re hard to keep and eventually you start to lose touch.

I FaceTimed one of my close friends the other day and I realized how much I missed her. I realized it's not necessarily making the promise to keep in touch with her but it was both our genuine interest in wanting to know how the other person was doing. I have friends that I don’t necessarily text every day or call that often but when we hangout it’s fun and effortless, and the conversation is easy.

I think that there’s often a weird emphasis on always “keeping in touch” but the truth is that those words are easier said than done. It’s understandable that people get wrapped up in their own lives, it’s what human nature asks us to do. We focus on our own stories, writing chapter by chapter as ourselves as the protagonist and during those times it’s hard to latch onto the past when things are moving at such a fast pace. When we ask other people to keep in touch with us, we’re subconsciously imagining that the friendship will stay where it is for a while, we don’t expect that change hits us. High school teaches us that after four years in the same place with the same people, making friends is hard. Accepting change is hard, not having your regular circle of friends is hard, but staying in the same spot for the rest of your life is even harder.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to let some friendships go, but at the same time, I’ve learned that having space is good for some friendships. The friend that I FaceTimed the other day gave me clarity on a couple things that I was struggling with, and I knew that she would be there for me no matter what despite the frequency of how much we talked with each other.

So instead of focusing so much on restoring a friendship or making sure that it never changes, accept the change.