Relationship Advice
Relationships

Just The Tips: Coffee, Communication, And Cuffing Are Our 3 C's

Weekly relationship column hosted by college experts Angie and Cass, answering questions sent in by you.

1146
Sky

Well, guys, midterm season is here and it is for sure taking a toll on us, however, that doesn't mean we can stop because it just so happens to be the start of cuffing season, too! We're going to talk about ideal first dates and how to keep the flames of a Tinder relationship going. As always, don't forget to send in your questions here as we love hearing from you.

​​Breakfast, brunch, coffee, lunch, or dinner for a first date?​​

Cass: Coffee! Coffee dates are SO ideal in my opinion. For one, you don't feel pressured to get actual food and have to make a judgment call based on what your date is getting to eat. Plus, you're caffeinating yourself so you would be able to get through even the most boring date. Also, as someone with anxiety around food, I feel like it is always a safe bet to pick something that DOESN'T involve food on the first date because I'd feel super uncomfortable. Coffee dates are short and sweet, which means that you can dip at any point you feel the date going south instead of being stuck there for a whole meal. However, coffee dates can also be long if the conversation is engaging and typically you'll feel no pressure by waiters to leave so it is a win-win situation all around.

Angie: I agree — coffee dates are definitely ideal for a first date because they're casual, low-stress, and it's easy to dip and escape a date gone wrong. My second choice would be a lunch date, though. It's also short, doesn't require you getting up too early, and is way less formal than getting dinner. It also looks more impressive if you pick up the check (wink!) Plus, chatting in a booth at a restaurant can feel a little more private than a table at Starbucks, which could open the door to more serious conversation.

Does it matter whether a couple only texts or uses Snapchat?

C: To me, it really doesn't matter how a couple communicates as long as they are communicating. For example, my partner and I typically communicate via Tumblr, which is super unconventional to have most of our conversations on, but we like being able to send each other the content we find while staying in the app. Granted, we use Snapchat and text, but text is where most serious conversations take place like if we're making plans for a date or to go somewhere with their family. I think you should only be concerned if you're trying to make solid plans with someone and they refuse to text you about it and want to stay on Snapchat. Snapchat doesn't save chats unless you manually do it, so there's a chance your messages will get lost and it makes it easier to forget and/or bail on plans later. Just communicate however you feel most comfortable, but make sure you have receipts if you're making important plans.

A: As long as you can communicate effectively using those apps, then who cares? Couples' schedules won't match up exactly, many people pursue long-distance relationships, and there are tons of other reasons why people are unable to get together. They could be using carrier pigeons as long as both parties are happy and satisfied with the way they're communicating. But if there is constant drama, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings because of the medium (texting and Snapping grants you emojis but costs you tone, body language, and other tells), that couple might want to consider communicating in another way.

How should I get a Tinder boy to commit to me?

C: The tricky thing about this question is the fact that Tinder has such a reputation as being a hookup app. Plenty of people have formed happy and healthy relationships off of Tinder so I'm not saying it's impossible to commit to someone from the platform, but it's important to recognize if that's what the other party wants. Does their bio specify they're looking for something more? Or does it say that they're here for fun? If they've indicated they want something more, SAY SOMETHING. Just flat out tell them you're looking for something committed and are hoping they can give that to you. If they aren't about it, then okay, at least you've already got Tinder downloaded so you can keep swiping for Mister Right.

A: I'll be honest with you here — I had a Tinder for a couple of weeks, got one series of messages from a creepy guy, and abandoned the app, so I'm not the most experienced with it. That being said, almost everyone I know who uses the app is more interested in hookups than commitment. Make sure your own bio is clear and that you're honest with what you're looking for from the start, and put your foot down — if you found a cute boy who got you to agree to something short or temporary at the beginning, you're going to have a harder time convincing him to commit. Otherwise, though, keep being your honest self, and communicate as clearly as you can.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.

NBC

From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments