You know how grown-ups always tell us to never take anything for granted? Or even read this through some corny quotes account on Instagram?
Well, can’t believe I’m saying this, as only 19 years of age, but seriously, don’t take anything for granted.
Speaking from personal experience, I woke up last Monday morning, and my life was turned upside down.
Let me share what happened to me, and while this is still extremely fresh, I believe putting this into words will be therapeutic for me, and hopefully of some value to you.
For a few months, I’ve had a persistent cough that I ruled out as my recent asthma acting up. Towards the end of August, I started to wake up in the mornings with my face, especially my eyes, swollen.
I ended up looking like a bowling ball, which I, mistakenly, ruled out as a result of sleeping too much and enjoying the homemade food of Saudi Arabia (my home). While I had a gut feeling that was something was remotely wrong inside of my body, I tried to be optimistic and ignore that, and that was the first of many mistakes.
Busy with traveling to Seattle for college and finishing up the final season of "Grey’s Anatomy" (ironic, I know), I didn't have much time to visit a local clinic and just make sure things were in order.
Finally, once I settled and moved into my very own studio in University District, one morning, my father prompted me to visit the ER and finally get my swelling face under control. We went in, hoping for a miracle lotion, or some anti-allergy pills. Little did I know then, that what was going on inside my body was a lot more.
I got a set of tests, and while the results were supposed to take merely thirty minutes, I waited for almost three hours. My assigned doctors were nowhere to be found, nor any of the nurses, and you know, when people avoid you, they’re probably trying to spare you of the bad news.
After a while, the doctor came in, closed the door, and sat down, clearly preparing herself for a hard, emotional conversation.
You know that feeling when someone suddenly wants to talk to you, about something serious? All of the things you did start racing to your mind, and you jump to the worst conclusions. Thank God I did, because it prepared my father and me for what we were about to hear.
“I’m sorry,” my doctor said, with tears in her eyes,” but you have a tumor in your left lung, and it might be cancerous.”
Silence.
Feelings of shock, sadness, fear, and everything in the world bottled up in me and stuck in my insides like a piece of old gum wedged under your shoe. Tears fell from my face, and I took a minute to bury myself in my father’s arms and try to process the news.
It is a scary thing, being so young, and suddenly, facing a condition that you never thought you ever would. I was otherwise a healthy teenager, as I had been my whole life.
After lots of medical jargon, I was admitted into the University of Washington Medical Center and was scheduled for a biopsy the next morning.
Let me tell you this... with only local anesthesia, the feeling of needles and devices moving in your chest, making sounds like stapling a big stack of papers...
It is terrifying and nauseating.
As I await the results of my biopsy over the next few days, I first have to take time and realize how the rollercoaster of my life took a steep, sharp fall. I’m in a vulnerable place, physically and mentally, and believing God has his own plan for me has comforted me to sleep at night.
With the support of my father, being right next to me every second, and my mother and siblings’ calling me every chance they get from a thousand miles away, I am stronger and much more optimistic.
The medical team was ever so compassionate and kind, and my friends showered me with comforting words.
I know no matter what the results are, cancer or not, I will survive this.
I’m a fighter, I’ve always been, and it’s even in my genes, I swear. My 90-year-old grandfather was diagnosed with colon cancer and stands today, seven years later, alive and healthy, because he had the will to live, and was stronger than the aggressive abnormalities seizing control of his organs.
On a side note though, I came to Seattle with the hopes of a Grey's Anatomy-like experience, and well, I got it sooner than expected, let me say that! My doctor even told me my case was so odd it was the buzz in the doctors' and nurses' lounge. I think it's worthy of an episode, don't you? ABC, where you at?
On a more serious note, I'm in one of the best universities in the world, being treated in the university's medical center, which happens to be one of the best in the country, so I am thankful for the choice I made of coming here, among ten other choices that I had.
I’ve definitely had my share of hardships, even with being so young, and this is just a bump on the road. I will be healthy, I will live, and I will enjoy my life as it goes. This has given me more motivation to start my freshman year of college, and finish it, no matter how much the 10-centimeter tumor pressing on my airways and vessels tries to get in my way.
At the end of the day, count your blessings twice, spend time with your family and friends, and love every moment, happy or sad. It’s these moments that made me appreciate my life as it is, and I hope you do too. I wish you a long, healthy life, just like mine.
