Everyone Is A F#%KING Moron!
Start writing a post

I've been sitting on this for a while now. Watching Penny Dreadful this holiday break has brought back to mind my thoughts related to Bram Stoker's Dracula. So like I did with Frankenstein I shall present to you, the reader, a list of reasons pertaining to characters. This is literally just another rant the more I think about it, but hear me out. I'm just pointing out some things I noticed while reading Stoker's book . Perhaps you, reader, have also noticed these things. If not, please go read Dracula again and take a closer look. It's a great book, but why does nobody talk about this???

1. Everyone is a F#%KING moron!! Like for real, nobody seems to notice the coincidences between the cases of Lucy and Mina. For the love of Cthulhu! They are both pale, feel weak, and are super tired! They both are victims of the Count and yet NOBODY notices this!!!

2. The only smart guy is INSANE guy! That's right, Renfield is the only one who makes any sense in the book. HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON BUT NOBODY BELIEVES HIM!! (I'll probably come back to Renfield.)

3. Dracula that's a little gay...but seriously. He says that Jonathan Harker is "his". His brides aren't allowed to touch him, or feed on him for that matter. Being bitten by a vampire is incredibly sexual and stimulating and Dracula wants to be the only one to do it. So I'm thinking that Drac swings both ways. He's centuries old so I'm not all that surprised.

4. Poor Van Helsing! He's just an old dude trying to do good and slay vampires. He's got no family anymore and cares SO MUCH for everyone in the book. He basically adopts the men and is like "these are my sons and I am proud of every one of them". I know there were a few people in my class who thought he was just creepy, but I will defend him.

5. Van Helsing's stake. What's up with that? It's totally impractical. It's like three feet long. How does that help when you're in a fight dude?? You're like what, 50 years young and running around with a giant ass piece of wood?! How is that going to help when I'm close combat? Yes, I know that isn't what he uses in close combat, but that doesn't mean that I have to agree with his choice of weapon.

6. Renfield and the women. Okay so this is like the best thing about the character, besides his insanity (which I love). Renfield in the novel is a dude who doesn't care about anyone until Mina visits him. The man warns her to leave and get away. Dracula has targeted her and he knows it. Renfield even FIGHTS Dracula. He doesn't win (spoiler) but he makes a good effort. Renfield also only shows this side of himself when Mina is in danger from a sexual attack. Like Renfield doesn't give a F#%k about anybody but Mina here. I love him.

7. Everyone in Seward's house is stupid. This is connected to them all being morons. The whole Vampire Slaying gang is staying at Seward's place (which is also the asylum) and nobody catches on to Renfield's ravings. Guess why he's losing his mind?? Oh yeah, because the Big Bad Bat is creeping around. Can you guess where he's living in England??? RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO THE VAMPIRE SLAYING GANG!!! Bunch of useless people in that house.

If I were to go on anymore I'd end up ruining the book probably. I won't go any further in my list/rant to keep from doing that. I just wanted to finally get all this out of my head. This is by no means everything or all that complete. I could go on forever about this book and the characters. I'll just say that my favorite character is Renfield. I love him and his insanity, including the eating of flies, spiders, and crows. I will defend him just as I would Van Helsing. I know some people think it's weird to defend fictional characters, but I'd like to point out that they aren't here to do it themselves so someone has to.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Olivia White

"The American flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies from the last breath of each solider who died protecting it."

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Separation Anxiety in Pets

Separation anxiety in pets is a real thing and recognizing the warning signs is important.

200161

Since March, Covid-19 required most of the world to quarantine in their homes. Majority of people ended up working from home for nearly five months. This meant pet owners were constantly with their pets giving them attention, playing with them, letting them out etc. Therefore, when the world slowly started to open up again and pet owners began returning to normal life work schedules away from the home, pet owners noticed a difference in the way their pet acted. Many pets develop separation anxiety especially during this crazy time when majority people were stuck inside barely leaving the house.

Keep Reading... Show less
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

360426

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1761895

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1116420
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

994342
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

653801
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments