"The Great Gatsby" has been lauded by many as the great American romance novel. To those who support this thesis, I say: Get. Better. Freaking. Taste.
Jay Gatsby, the novel's protagonist vies for the undying love, affection and worship of one Daisy Buchanan. So, as a completely sane man does, he buys a house directly across from hers, hoards newspaper clippings to keep tabs on her whereabouts, hosts lavish parties in hopes that she may one day show up, and rents his guest cottage out to Nick Caraway, the cousin of Daisy, in hopes of, you guessed it, luring her to him. As any well-trained psychologist may confirm, Gatsby is all of the following absolutely correct and definitely real psychiatric terms: certified nutso, absolute bananas, totally bonkers and loco cocoa.
Bruh. She moved on. She's married, albeit the relationship is far from a healthy one, and has a freaking kid.
Yet, on occasion, Daisy reciprocates his love. This shows Gatsby that his actions are justifiable, as they produce the goal he wishes to bring about. He is not portrayed as obsessive or manipulative or absolute bananas; he is simply a hapless, hopeless romantic. He is a charming devotee.
However, when women strive to reclaim something now lost to them, they are deemed psycho. Enter the trope of the "crazy ex-girlfriend."
This is not the first, nor would it be the last example of this brutal double standard in pop culture. Take Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations": jilted and heartbroken on the day of her wedding, she stays in her dark and crumbling mansion never taking off her wedding dress, her wedding cake left to rot on the dining table, all clocks in the house stopped at the exact time when she had opened the letter from her ex-lover explaining that he had defrauded her.
The inclusion of the "crazy-ex" is a commonplace trope in cinema and television, as well. There is the film "Gone Girl," in which a wife fakes her own murder and pins the crime on her cheating husband in a fit of jealous rage. Or, there's always the film "Fatal Attraction," in which Glenn Close slits her own wrists, lunges at her male ex-lover with a knife in the bathtub and even boils his daughter's pet bunny on the stove (oy vey!). In "How I Met Your Mother," there's a graph used to display a woman's hot-to-crazy ratio. An even more blatant portrayal of the "crazy-ex girlfriend" is apparent in the Golden-Globe- and Emmy-winning series entitled "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend." (Can you guess what the show is about?)
And then there is the music industry, which thrives off of this stereotype: Beyoncé smashes in a car's windows with a bat in the music video for "Hold Up." Carrie Underwood laments in the song, "Before He Cheats." There's "Hit 'Em Up Style" by Blue Cantrell, "Womanizer" by Britney Spears and ay number of songs by Taylor Swift.
Although the world is full of tales of manipulative ex-boyfriends too, the crazy ex-girlfriend model far outweighs that of her male counterpart. Speak to most men and one of their exes is likely to be crazy; speak to most women and "crazy" is far less prevalent in their vocabulary. This case is one of the endless double standards applied to the sexes. Women in positions of power are bitchy and cut-throat, whereas men are leaders with a strong sense of ambition. Or, there's the perception that women are primarily emotional, whereas men are the logical beings. That means that the sexes' responses to a situation are seen as such.
Because men are rational and analytical, it's reasonable to buy a house right across the bay from an ex. Because women are typically emotional, it's understandable that they "go a little crazy" when they respond to an event simply by showing human emotion.
What's worse is that because the actions of men who may be manipulative and controlling are not immediate and perceptible, they are deemed less dangerous. This is extremely problematic and has very real and dire consequences. It all helps to build a culture in which it's alright for men to be in charge and to unquestioningly do what they think is reasonable. It stigmatizes those with legitimate mental health issues and supports systems of oppression. It gives permission to a culture of abuse and systems of domination versus subordination; because, if women react with an emotional response, they're crazy, right?
Whereas the perfect combination of heartache and devotion turns a woman into a crazy ex-girlfriend, it turns a man into a man on a mission. These men are broken, longing for an idealized version of the past in which all the power they lust for can be theirs and theirs indiscriminately. Take a note from Jay Gatsby:
"I wouldn't ask too much of her," Nick ventured. "You can't repeat the past."
"Can't repeat the past?" Gatsby cried incredulously. "Why of course you can!"
The past, Mr. Gatsby? The one in which women are prizes to be chased and sought after? The one in which their love is something to be won and kept like an unhealthy collection? The one where the actions of men are justifiable because of their sex and the one in which women can't help but seem crazy? Let's keep it in the past.
