I’m nineteen years old, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never held a boy’s hand. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never had someone tell me they like me. I’ve never brought a boy home to meet my dad. I’ve never been hit on. I’ve never been told by a boy that I was beautiful. I’ve never been asked for my number.

Until about a year ago, I never really wanted any of that stuff. But now, I really want that stuff. I see my friends get asked out on dates. I see my friends get hit on when we go places. I see my friends hold hands with their boyfriends. I see my friends get promise rings. I see my friends bubbling over with joy after going on a first date. I see my friends getting called beautiful every day.

I find myself throwing pity parties for myself a lot because I don’t have a boyfriend. Sometimes my mind goes to places that aren’t healthy. I begin wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” “Do people not like me?” “Am I weird?” “Am I that ugly?” “Why don’t boys want to date me?”

Then I start thinking, “I’m weird and people don’t like me.” “I’m fat and no one dates fat girls.” “People don’t like me because I’m loud and I speak my mind.” “I will never find a boyfriend because there are so many girls out there that are so much better than me.” “You won’t be able to get a boyfriend unless you get skinny.” “I’m not good enough for someone to find worthy of dating.”

Whenever I get in those places, I must turn back to two things to find my identity. I look to Jesus and what he says about me.

I am a child of God.

Galatians 3:36 “For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.”

I am God’s masterpiece.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139: 14 “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

I am loved.

Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued my faithfulness to you.”

Psalm 103:11 “For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.”

I am forgiven.

Psalm 103:12 “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”

I also go back to my “I am” statements that I have created for myself.

I am desirable.

I am enough.

I am likable.

I am date-able.

I am beautiful.

I am confident.

I am courageous.

I am funny.

I am worthy.