Have you ever been so down that you didn't shower for a week, didn't clean your room for months, and let everything just pile up and become disgusting? Have you ever almost thrown up over the idea of having to make a phone call? Have you ever beat yourself up over not being able to work on your homework for more than a couple minutes before deciding to take a break and sit on your phone for hours? Have you ever gotten weird looks from someone you're talking to because you can't focus on what they're saying unless you let your eyes dart around the room to focus on things that move or stand out to you? Have you ever seriously questioned why you're even alive, because why would the universe want you to live a life like this?
I have.
So have some of my friends. That's what it's like to have some mental illnesses and disorders.
It's not cute. It will ruin your life.
It isn't a decision someone makes when they want to spice up their life. It certainly isn't something we say to get attention from others. In fact, you'll find that a lot of people with these problems aren't all that open about it. Having a mental illness doesn't make you cool. You aren't more unique because of it. It isn't a glamorous part of our lives. You don't really know how bad it is until you feel it for yourself. If you're lucky, you'll never know.
Personally, I partly blame the media. I blame shows like "13 Reasons Why," "Friends," and "Skins" for making people think mental illnesses were beautiful, quirky, or without consequence. Let's talk about these shows for a moment.
In "13 Reasons Why," Hannah Baker dies by suicide on screen. However, the scene is weirdly peaceful and makes it seem like killing yourself is painless. The biggest problem with the show is that it portrays suicide as revenge. It makes viewers think that because she died, there is finally hope that maybe teenagers can change and stop being so cruel to one another. Bullying was not the one and only thing that went into Hannah taking her own life. It is so much more complicated than that. The show doesn't go into detail about Hannah's mental state and gives the suggestion that suicide is the only way out.
In "Friends," Monica is portrayed as having OCD. Only, not really, because they make her cleanliness out to be a behavioral quirk and a bit for comedy. She likes to clean and tidy up, but she doesn't show any obsession over it. It doesn't stress her out. If you don't already know, OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) begins with obsessions, or repetitive, anxious, unwelcome thoughts, and compulsions, or repetitive activities, are completed in order to reduce anxiety caused by the obsessions. It is more likely Monica has OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) in which some behaviors can be learned and more closely relate to perfectionism.
In "Skins," the main character, Effie, is shown as having manic depression and spirals way too deep. She portrays very destructive behaviors, however, she isn't exactly given consequences for her actions. The show even goes as far as to introduce various boys in her life who think they can fix her, which, unfortunately, seems very romantic to viewers. "Skins" did a lot of things right and for the most part, I applaud them for showing that mental illness isn't butterflies and rainbows, but they also contributed their fair share of misconceptions.
So do we see the problem here? Having a mental illness is anything but beautiful. It doesn't improve anyone's life or make people pity you and want to be any closer to you. It doesn't get to be your attention-grabber. Please stop claiming to have a mental illness when you don't. There are millions of ways to be relatable to others or make friends or gain attention that doesn't involve making it harder for other people to be believed and get help. What's quirky to you is debilitating to someone else. Stop making someone else's pain a trend. You've made the pain of living like we are mainstream.
Do you know what else isn't cute? Witnessing mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or OCD and thinking they're harmless or quirky, yet demonizing mental illnesses like schizophrenia or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Believe me, these mental illnesses are absolutely romanticized, but I see the same people who think having depression makes them unique say that schizophrenia makes a person crazy or scary to be around. Educate yourselves before you make assumptions. The world won't always teach you everything you need to know.
If you are feeling "called out" by this article, I strongly encourage you to educate yourself. Find the differences between having depression versus having a rough week, having anxiety versus being nervous for a job interview, having OCD versus wanting your house to be clean. It all starts with seeking out the information we don't have. Just think about your actions and how they may affect people who are legitimately going through the roughest seasons of their lives.
