I'm not an adventurous person. If I had it my way, I'd be re-watching "Parks and Recreation" for the fourth time instead of doing anything "cool". But sometimes I like to indulge myself. I tell myself I need to be spontaneous. And it's a lesson I've never learned because every time I do anything adventurous, I regret everything.
My mom called me up and asked me if I wanted to go zip-lining with her and my sister. So I said yes very quickly, without questioning anything, because I thought this would be just fun zip-lines. I did not ever think there would be an obstacle course 30-40 feet above the ground. Well, I was wrong.
We got to the zip-lining place and when I looked up at the trees, there were rope courses and skinny bridges you had to walk across - with a harness of course. This woman named Phoebe debriefed us. And let me tell you, she was a real angel. She taught us how to put the hooks on the zip-line to make sure you didn't fall off and die. She tried to make me feel better when she had to put an extra torso harness on me because "the harness was sitting a little too low on my pelvis".
Listen closely. If you ever want to know how fat you really are, don't look in a mirror, it's a waste of time. Just go to your local harness seller and put on a zip-lining harness. This thing will show you your real problem areas. It not only wraps around your waist to ensure maximum squeeze on your stomach fat, but it also wraps around each thigh to make sure you are also aware of all the fat there too! Lots of fun, guys!
I must add I am moderately afraid of heights. I don't mean deathly afraid. I just mean if I can avoid being over 10 feet off the ground, I'd rather do that. But again, I mistakenly decided to be adventurous that day.
They said don't look down but of course I did, and it was not pleasant. Being that high off the ground did not give me a rush of adrenalin like it does for some crazy people. It actually made me extremely anxious that my harness would somehow detach itself, and I would fall to my sudden death. I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if that's how I died.
I got through the first couple of courses not smoothly at all. It was very difficult. Phoebe totally lied to me when she said that you did not have to be fit to go through this course. The actual zip-lining was awesome and I loved that part (surprisingly). I mostly liked it because I did not have to do anything. I kind of just walked off the platform and went. But that was only, like, 20 percent of the course. The other 80 percent of the time you were walking over bridges and on little planks of wood suspended in mid-air. No thanks.
We got past the first three courses. I climbed up the ladder to begin the fourth course, laughed when I got to the top and said "nope". So I climbed back down and waited for my sister and my mom to finish the entirety of the course.
I got a certificate, though, that said I completed the course. I'll just show that off. No one has to know.
