Have you been mistreated in the past? Have you dealt with someone building you up, just to tear you down? Do you feel down about yourself constantly? All of these are a yes for me. Even to this day, I still tear myself down. I pick out the little flaws, or issues I see, and make them out to be the biggest deal that I can. Why do I do that? I couldn't even begin to tell you.
We're all human, and none of us are perfect. Those of us who have been treated bad, or taken advantage of--we think something is wrong with us. I know that this isn't the case, but I can't stop from feeling that way from time to time. I'm sure it's the same with you. This is the main reason that I say it takes a STRONG and PATIENT person to love and be with someone who is emotionally damaged. It takes constant reassurance, more love, and even more protection. Sometimes, even that isn't enough. We're so scared of history repeating itself, or that we're ruining things, even if we're not. It's easy to imagine something being wrong, even when everything is perfect.
After all the hurt, I feel like I found the perfect man. I think that is what scares me more than anything. Some days I feel like I should just mold myself to his perfect woman, but what does that look like? It seems like every day we have more and more in common. Where that should be what we all strive for, it frightens me. In my life, any time something good would happen, it would either not be real, or it would never last. Have you ever felt that way?
Even with all my doubt, it just makes him try harder to prove that I have nothing to worry about. His efforts don't go unnoticed, and I love all the things he does. I've never been treated this way before. I'm his princess, and he treats me like I'm just that. He came into my life, my perfect man, and he gave me a family to call my very own, parents, and a child to be a mother figure to.
However, my main worry is this: How can a man so perfect want to stay with someone so imperfect? I'm constantly picking out the little things wrong with me, and tear myself down. All he does is deny them, and tell me the ways that I'm perfect TO HIM.
We had this very conversation, just yesterday.
"I'm sorry that I'm not perfect."
"But you are, to me."
"But I'm not."
"Well, in my eyes, you are!"
In the end, isn't that what we all look for, dream about, and strive for? To be completely happy, and be that person for someone else. The fact that you aren't perfect, but are perfect for them.
We live in an imperfect world, and none of us can be perfect. What more could you ask for then to brave the world, and the future with someone who wants you EXACTLY as you are, and wouldn't change you for their own selfish reasons.
As damaged as we all are, there is someone out there who will love you for all the reasons you don't think they will. It's okay to feel less than perfect, because to that person, there's no one better than you.
