Little orphan Annie once famously sang that "you’re never fully dressed without a smile." I have always found it quite strange that someone like Annie would make such a proclamation. That child had very little to smile about: dead parents, an alcoholic foster mother, and (probably worst of all) that untamable mop of curly, crimson hair. Yes, Annie had it bad. Even through her darkest hour, though, she never lost hope and always continued to smile. However, the question begs: didn’t little orphan Annie (like the rest of us) deserve the chance to let herself feel sad if things just weren’t going so great?
For years, many of the people in my life have seemingly made it their mission to get me to embrace the "Gospel According to Annie." I have heard time and time again that there is something wrong with me because I don’t constantly have a toothy smile plastered across my face. Simple things like taking photos, walking into family parties, and even being in the presence of certain people can be a nightmare for me. In certain social situations, I find myself constantly worrying that someone will make a statement like, “Why are you so miserable? Will you just smile?” Let me tell you, it would not be the first time that has happened.
The thing others don’t seem to realize about me is just because I don’t have a goofy grin on my face all the time, it doesn’t mean I am miserable. I have always been very guarded with my emotions. I don’t like letting people know how I am really feeling. In that sense, I am an introvert through and through. Even if my lack of a smile were due to some level of sadness in my life, nobody would have any right to bombard me with the inconsiderate statements that many people feel so inclined to make. Let’s really think about this, folks: do you think you are doing the so-called “miserable people” any service by telling them they look miserable? I know it certainly does wonders for my self-esteem when people say that to me!
What these misguided individuals do not seem to realize is that the lack of a smile is not something that should be equated with the commission of a mortal sin, despite what little orphan Annie taught us. Sadness is an intrinsic part of the human condition, something that has a valuable place in our lives. Without sorrow, how would we ever know what joy looks like? The simple answer is that we wouldn’t because there would be nothing to which we could compare it.
The recent Pixar movie “Inside Out” explores this issue in a very interesting way. The film follows a young girl named Riley whose emotions (Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust) are anthropomorphized as colorful characters inside her brain. Throughout the film, the character Joy tries to keep Sadness at bay because she believes Riley would be better off without her. By the end of the film, Joy comes to realize that things are not so black and white, and that the concept of human emotion is far more complex than that. Eventually, Joy comes to accept the place of Sadness in Riley’s life.
It’s almost sad that fictional characters in a children’s cartoon seem to have made sense of this concept, yet real adult humans are still perplexed by the idea that some people just don’t ever feel like smiling. Quite frankly, it’s not that hard to process. Of course, it is granted that we should not let sadness control us. Balancing one’s emotions is necessary for a fulfilling existence. However, if someone is having a bad day and doesn’t have a smile on their face, we need to let them work through that in their own way, not by informing them of how miserable they look. If you think otherwise, aren’t you the problem?
