I had no idea that Tuesday 10/11 was national coming out day until the day of, but I love the idea of a coming out day- even if it is just in order to celebrate the fact that you have come out in the past or in order to bring awareness to the LGBT+ community. That being said, the concept of “coming out” has always brought with it some complicated feelings. On one hand, I feel that coming out is a great opportunity for people (especially famous people and celebrities) to show others that they aren’t alone and that they aren’t as weird as they think they are. While the LGBT community may not be the majority or even a large minority, there are still LGBT people out there who feel alienated and alone. No one deserves to feel like that, especially for something that is out of their control. On the other hand, I hate the fact that people put labels on other people without their consent & put them in the place where they feel like they’re not being truthful if they don’t come out. Why do we need to label love? If a girl falls in love with a boy, that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s straight and could never fall in love with a girl. If a boy has never been in a relationship with another boy, that doesn’t mean that he is straight and hasn’t thought about boys in that way or is against being in a relationship with other boys. There is so much that goes on in other people’s heads that we may never know and that we don’t have any right knowing. I can’t wait for the day where people can just fall in love with whomever they feel most in love with, without worrying about genders and how everyone else will perceive them. A loving relationship is between the people who are in the relationship, for those that don’t like it- I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to deal with it.

Coming out is something that is intrinsically personal- no one is obligated to come out to anyone that they don’t feel comfortable with or that have no right knowing. It could be something as simple as introducing their partner or as sitting down with loved ones to explain feelings (even if they can’t put a label on themselves yet). It could be telling one or two trusted people or it could be a broad post to many (including those they don’t know or aren’t close with). But to say that someone HAS to come out or they’re not *actually* part of the LGBT+ community is just plain wrong. Many people aren’t blessed with family and friends who will be supportive of them after coming out, and to them they’d rather not deal with the negative aftermath and fallout that would come with it.

Whether you’re finally admitting it to yourself for the first time or this has been something you’ve felt comfortable with for years, you ARE valid. No one has a right to know everything about you, especially if you have any indication that coming out could put you in danger.