Sometimes, you just have those days, but most recently it seems like "one of those days" is a part of my normal routine and I'm learning that's ok. I see other people who are more organized, with every aspect of their life planned exactly as it should be. I see the fancy planners and I want one, but I stay away because I know that planner's fate. I know that for a week, maybe a month if I'm lucky, that planner will be of use; but then I get a little more lenient each day, suddenly I'm forgetting the aforementioned planner and using other forms of organization to help with my life (i.e. writing stuff on my hands). The thing is, I'm not completely a mess; I'm not even half of a mess, I'm just one sticky note away from having everything be perfect and it drives me crazy sometimes.
I have a pretty busy life, I work 6 days a week and I go to school full time, plus I'm a music major whose main reason for existence is to practice my instrument all day, every day (or at the very least ten hours per week). I try to plan everything ahead; I pack my lunches, I preset my car with all of the books and things I need for the next day, I mentally schedule practice times so I can get out of the practice rooms in time to finish whatever else I need to do; I try to keep everything in order, but I'm just no good. Everyday I wake up, (hit snooze) and it begins, I'm planning each step I take, making sure I stay as on track as possible, and it doesn't happen, IT NEVER DOES. Today I was going to work, after work I planned to come home, have lunch, write my article, clean my apartment.This was all supposed to happen by five. Yet, here I am. It's 4:37 and I'm not even finished with my article yet. I get so uptight about deadlines that I forget that I'm living a life. I let myself get so uptight about having everything clean by a certain time and not having anything to do on Sundays. I understand it's important to set goals and be ambitious, but I am learning that not everything has to fit into a planner or schedule.
I often wish I was better at so many things, that I could accomplish an informal list of to-dos in my head everyday, but life doesn't work that way. I'm doing my best everyday. I struggle with getting my articles in on time, I struggle with going from three classes straight to practice without losing focus, I struggle with having 18 credit hours and trying to go sleep at a certain time every night, I even struggle with how much water I feel like I have to drink before the day is over. Everyone feels this though, I'm sure of it, even the people who I think have their lives together the most. Maybe you're like this too.
Never get so caught up trying to be perfect that you forget you aren't meant to be that way. Relax and don't stress as much as you do. Your unplanned mess is perfectly you, and that's okay, too.
