“I feel a lot of warmth for them. I don’t resent them. I’m grateful for them. They were great friends while I needed them. And whether or not any of the friendship was true, it was true for me.”

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately reflecting on who my close friends are. Who are the people that I would do anything for? Who are my people? Who are my Ride or dies?

This question had been at the forefront of my brain for a while, which is why I read Shonda Rhimes book The Year Of Yes. Lets be honest, any Grey Anatomy, Scandal, or How To Get Away With Murder fan will admit that Shonda is the queen. She is confident, inspiring, and honest, all while being dark and twisty.

In chapter thirteen, known as Yes to Dancing It Out (with the right people), Shonda examines who her close friends are. She recognizes the individuals who belong on her Ride or Die list, those who she considers to be her “person,” and those that the connection is no longer present with.

Shonda, thank you for helping me realize it is okay to let go of people in your life. Just like you, I think I’ve been trying to craft people into the person I need them to be. As you would call a fictional friend, I have not been recognizing the true characteristics of these people.

You’re stories about Pam and Ken are easy to relate to. Although I am sorry they could not be the people you needed them to be, I admire your ability to remove the negativity from your world and recognize them for who they truly are.

Just like you, I will continue to feel warmth for those individuals who turned out not to be my person. I am forever grateful for their presence in my life, as I truly do believe they were exactly what I needed at that time. But at this time, your words about being true to yourself are what I need.

I want to have a relationship similar to Christina and Meredith. I want to have the person that I go through life side by side with. I want to have moments where we dance it out. All because that person wants to be in that moment with me as well. Not because I am attempting to shape them into the person I need them to be.

You have taught me that it is okay to be without a person. In fact, being without a person is better than having a fictional person. Thank you for giving me the confidence, inspiration, and strength to be okay on my own until I find my Christina.