Dating has changed tremendously over time and is much more complicated now than it was ever before for anybody. Back in the 80’s and 90’s dating meant you went on actual dates with each other (not that spending money and doing things is what it is all about). Nowadays, going out with someone or dating means they have a title but do not actually go on real dates. Now, there are no guys picking a girl up in front of her house, meeting and talking with her parents, and making sure she is home by a reasonable hour. Most guys these days refuse (yes, my ex refused) to meet parents until the pair have been dating for quite some time. The complexity of dating in these times is a migraine to deal with. Before you “date” someone you guys are supposed to “talk” for a few months, which sucks because what if one of you do not want to commit then you just get stuck “talking” the whole relationship if there even is one at this point. Nevertheless, what even is “talking” because I am 21 years old and a junior in college and have had one legitimately serious relationship but still do not know what this even means. Do you talk to other people or get upset when the other person talks or hangs out with other people? Do you post about each other on social media or not because you guys aren’t actually dating yet? Are you going to expect them to be at your family functions or is it too soon? These are the questions I wonder all of the time when people start “talking.” I wish dating would go back to the simplistic ways of the past like when our parents or grandparents were dating.
These days you could honestly date someone online without ever even meeting them. Face to face conversations these days with my generation seem to be the most challenging thing for us to handle. We can sit on our phone and text for hours, talk on the phone all night, Snapchat funny filters during classes, and post on Twitter all we want. However, when it comes to being with each other in person we find ourselves just sitting here watching Netflix all day. We do not go out and experience fun activities or take a walk, or learn new things to do. Why is conversing in person so hard? We know the person well yet we cannot say anything but a few sentences.
Communication skills are completely lacking in the dating world of my generation. People do find it easier to say things and flirt over text than in person, I know I certainly do. The issue with texting is when you talk so much over text versus in person is gets awkward when you are in person. There are misunderstandings with how you type sentences or put emojis and the meaning behind them. I cannot type all of the times I have gotten into an argument with a guy over text because one of us texted something and the other took it wrong because of how it was typed, the emoji that was with it, or there were periods after everything. When arguing with someone over texting you do not need to say it to his or her face, which makes it worse because you can pretty much say whatever you want with no remorse. I know so many people that do not want to talk on the phone just simply because they do not like to do that. How are you going to hang out with me in person if you cannot even call me on the phone? Communication skills are lacking on so many levels.
All of the things that were once building blocks of dating for so many years has completely slipped through our fingers as a generation: communication, loyalty, commitment, passion, and caring. Our generation has a terrible time committing. You can have all of the good and bad that come with a relationship, yet still have no title on it. This is what seems to be “talking.” Talking seems to be the prestage to dating or it could be the whole relationship like I mentioned before when one is afraid to commit.
“Netflix and chill” is a common date (if you can even call it that) among our generation and younger ones. It aggravates me to the fullest extent knowing people around my age think that this is a date. I was in a relationship for three years and we would only ever go do something for the special occasions (Valentine’s Day, our anniversary, birthdays etc.). I am completely okay with staying and watching a movie, playing games, or hanging out with our families, however sometimes I think a guy should take his girlfriend out just for the heck of it and vice versa. I definitely think if a guy can take the girl out then the other half of the time as a girlfriend you should take your boyfriend out too (have to be fair here). I am not saying the date needs to be anything outrageous but a simple walk with her favorite ice cream, picnic, or playing putt putt will do. It is all about putting in a little bit of effort into your date to show that you care.
The “dating world” has grown in complexity with time. Young adults do not understand what dating use to be like or what it should be like. It should not be like The Bachelor where one guy dates 30 women and narrows it down to two and then he is free to choose which one he wants to marry. I wish we could go back to the simplistic ways of dating and parents should teach their children what dating should be, and how to be a lady or a gentlemen to your significant other. If a guy asked me out on a date now I would honestly think he was joking or expect that he would want to hook up afterwards. Because nowadays, that is what comes with hanging out with a guy, you are expected to compromise your moral integrity just to get treated how you should for a date.
