Introversion Doesn’t Mean An Aversion To People

Introvert (/ˈintrəˌvərt/) n. 1 a shy wallflower that doesn't like talking or being with anyone; a loner. Or at least that's the most thought-of definition when you ask an extrovert. While the extrovert is fairly straightforward when it comes to social things, the introvert is a little more complex.

It's easy to mistake the lesser number of friends most introverts have for loneliness, but that couldn't be more wrong. Actually, introverts probably experience feeling alone a lot less often than extroverts. We're comfortable in our own skin and don't mind spending time by ourselves. We do also like making friends, but we're much more selective. Without a burning desire to be with people, we don't have a problem waiting until someone proves themselves loyal to call them a friend.

One point that cannot be stressed enough: introverts like talking. Really, we do. We love talking, but that doesn't always mean we're good at it. If the unknowing extrovert stumbles upon an introvert's hidden passion, conversation might explode in a frenzy as thoughts and feelings all come out at once. If introverts could get to that point right away, they definitely would avoid the dreaded small talk. We take longer to process information, and that kind of wiring isn't ideal for awkward, silence-filling conversation. This is the true enemy of the introvert and the real reason extroverts accuse us of not being talkative.

It might seem like introverts don't ever want to have fun. Parties make us anxious, and staying home is always an option. We really do like to have fun-- even with people, although it might not appear that way. But introverts are much harder to understand at the surface level. It takes some thoughtful questioning to find their real feelings. We may not outwardly show that we're having fun when we really are. I know, it's complicated.

And after the fun is over, we're going to need to recharge.

It's not that we have something really important planned or that we are tired of the people we're around. Seriously, it's nothing personal, and we're not lying to you. We just need some time alone to recuperate. We like embracing the quietness and feeling free to explore our more inwardly directed nature.

At times it can feel like introverts and extroverts are miles apart. If there's one thing introverts and extroverts both could be reminded of, it's that we're not an entirely different breed of humans. We just experience the world in a different way, and that's what makes us unique.