An Open Letter To You

An Open Letter To You

I hope this finds you well.

Dear You,

You know who you are, even if you don't realize it. I could call you auntie, because you were once. You used to be my aunt, but even though technically you still are, you haven't actually been for years. I don't think you realize what your addiction has taken away from me and from your family. It has not only taken who you are, but has changed you into something I can't describe. Most people argue you are sick, and addiction is a disease, but I can't wrap my head around it. I don't want it to be true because if that were the case you would accept the help we have tried to get for you. I guess it makes sense, given that the old you would never make the decisions you are making now.

You have to be sick, because choosing a substance over family doesn't seem like something a healthy person would do. What gets me though is, you chose this life in the first place. You made the decision that put you into this lifestyle of yours, and it makes me mad. It makes me mad that you would do that to yourself. You had such a big heart and somehow, like the Grinch, it got ten sizes too small.

Do you think of me? Do you remember calling me Neicy or Neicykid, because I am was your first niece? Do you remember the memories we've made? I do, they haunt me in my sleep each day that passes that I hear you made another poor decision. Remember going to my cousin's ice hockey games? I do, we took a selfie during the last one I went to. The caption on Facebook was something along the lines of "my beautiful niece, the only one that would bare this cold with me". I still have that photo, every once in a while I save it to my phone. Then I delete it, then save it, then delete it again. How can I hold on to something like that, knowing we will never be that close again? I remember another time, when we went out for my cousin's birthday. I have those pictures too. We watched the planes pass by and we ended up in some fancy restaurant underdressed. We were the only ones in that restaurant and none of us had any idea how to act in such a place.

I remember all kinds of little moments and hold them dear to my heart. We spent a lot of time together, hanging out and talking about anything and everything. I wish those moments meant as much to you as they did to me. I wish you knew how I really felt. I'm scared for the day my phone goes off because you overdosed and couldn't be saved this time. I'm scared for the day you hurt or kill someone because you were high. It's hard for me to accept that this is who you are now, and I probably never will.

You were my aunt once. At one point in my life I had you, but now I am grieving over a person that is still living. You missed out on a lot of beautiful nieces and nephews. Your loss.

Signed,

Neicykid

Cover Image Credit: Kaushik Narasimhan

Popular Right Now

50 Random Thoughts You Have On Any Given Snow Day

"Oh no, I slept through my 7:30 class!"

When you live in the south, snow days are few and far between. School's more likely to be shut down for a tornado than snow! When a snow day happens, it's a surreal experience that feels separated from reality and that disconnect spawns some weird thoughts. Here are 50 random thoughts from a snow day.

1. "Oh no, I slept through my 7:30 class!"

2. "Wait! Class is canceled and I can sleep in!

Falls back into unconsciousness.

3. "Did I really sleep until noon?!? Half my free day is gone!"

4. "Oh well..."

5. "So what do I want to do with a WHOLE day free?"

6. "Hmmm, brain isn't working. Coffee, first!"

7. "I wonder when it's supposed to start snowing? I'll check online!"

Spends an hour fooling around on Facebook and Pinterest.

8. "I need to do something productive. I'll do some homework! Right after I eat..."

9. "What do I want to eat?"

Pizza, salad, chicken, mac n cheese?

10. "Chocolate chip pancakes!"

11. "Wait, why are they falling apart when I flip?"

Oh...I forgot the egg...

12. "PB&J it is!"

13. "Okay, I've eaten and it's time to start homework!"

14. "But I can't leave all these dishes here..."

I'll just have to do the dishes first!

15. "Dishes are done, and I think I've earned a break!"

16. "I wonder what's new on Netflix?"

17. "Oooo, this looks interesting!"

30 minutes later...nope, bored.

18. "I should watch a movie instead!"

30 minutes later...nope, not enough attention span.

19. "Oh! It's 4 PM. I'll just put it on Friends for background noise while I do homework."

20. "Do Joey and Chandler even buy food?"

They're always at Monica's. Does she just do the shopping for all of them?

21. "Monica has a really nice apartment."

I wonder how much rent is?

22. "Rent in New York City is how much!?!?!"

23. "No wonder they all eat Monica's food! They can't afford it!"

24. "How do Rachel, Pheobe, and Joey even afford to live here!?! How are they not homeless!?!"

25. "How many people in New York are homeless?"

26. "63,000!!!!!!!!"

*internal sobbing*

27. "Oh geez, I need to do homework still..."

28. "Okay, let's check Blackboard."

29. "Nothing new. Might as well check Facebook while I'm on here."

30. "Looks like another person got engaged."

31. "And another one got married."

32. "And another had a baby."

33. "And a second baby..."

34. "And a third baby..."

35. "And a fourth baby...what's in the water!?!?!"

36. "What did their parents say?!?"

37. "Wait, we're all adults and having babies is normal now..."

38. "Being an adult is weird."

39. "I wonder if Pinterest has any tips on being an adult?"

40. "Oh, that mac n cheese recipe looks amazing!"

41. "I should go get the ingredients for that!

Wait, roads are closed today...

42. "Tips on Disney World travel!"

43. "I miss Disney so much!"

44. "Kyle's never been to Disney! We need to go!"

45. "How much does a week at Disney cost?"

46. "...so we might have enough money in 20 years..."

47. "He's never been to Universal either! How much does that cost?"

48. "...this is just depressing..."

49. "Okay, enough messing around. I do need to check email, though."

50. "Awesome! Another snow day tomorrow!"

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Summer Adventures

Warmer weather calls for summertime adventures with friends.

The countdown to summer begins as everyone looks forward to the warmer weather and longer days of sunlight. Days of getting to sleep in until noon and then staying out late.

There is nothing like getting to sleep in until noon, and then staying out late because it's summer! Summer is filled with many memories and adventures, because it is a time to relax and have fun. You feel the happiest during the summer, when your getting a nice tan and spending almost every day and every second with your friends.

Summer is also the time for adventures. My friends and I always make a list of the places we want to go, as well as a list of things we want to see before the end of the summer.

The best days are when you can drive with all the windows down, your hair is blowing in the wind, and you have the music jamming. Nothing like having a little jam session with your friends while cruising down the highway. We all have that one friend who rolls down the windows and blasts the music whenever they're driving.

"Weird New Jersey" is a list of places located throughout New Jersey and the stories behind each of them. During the summer, I go looking for these places with my sister, my best friend, my best friend's mom, and my best friend's sister. Clinton Road is one of these places, and the story is if you travel along it at night, a black truck will appear and follow you.

We Jersey people also like to take trips to the Jersey Shore. The beach is one of the best places to go, and I could sit there for days just soaking in the sun and listening to the waves crashing onto the shore. The beach is a relaxing place to go, where you can spend time with family and friends. Not only can you go to the beach, but you can also go to the boardwalk and get some of the best food and ice cream around.

Another thing my friends and I like to do is go adventuring on my one friend’s boat. We like to cruise all along the lake and take in the scenery. Sometimes we like to park the boat and go swimming, or just float around and soak in the sun.

Many people like to adventure to an exotic location for a week or two, where they spend their time getting to know the area and local culture. I usually adventure to Florida, whether it be to the beach or to Disney. While we're in Florida for a week or so, my family and I get to explore the area, shop, and relax by the ocean or a pool.

Finally, hiking is another great way to go on an adventure. In New Jersey (specifically Sussex County), there are several places to go hiking. Most of these places have beautiful scenery and are incredibly peaceful. Last summer, I went hiking at Adams Creek, which has a waterfall that is astonishing to see in person.

Cover Image Credit: Kristen Rafferty

Related Content

Facebook Comments