When people look at my Instagram and see how many followers or likes I have, I am astonished at most people’s reactions. They usually say something along the lines of, “I can’t believe I know someone with 18.4k followers!” or “I can tell my friends I know a famous model!”

That way of thinking seems so superficial to me. I don't want to be liked just because I have a high following on social media. It seems like some people were more attracted to the thought of me then actually me. I tried to think and understand from their perspective. They see all of those 18.4k followers that approve of me and that in turn suddenly makes me a more attractive person. I want longevity in the modeling industry, so I have been wanting to seek respect not just “I like you because you have a lot of followers and who am I to not like someone that has 18.4k followers?”.

I have been trying to learn the difference and importance between wanting to be liked and wanting to be respected. I admit I want people to like me. I really like knowing people are following me because they support me and my work. Who wouldn’t like that? But I don’t want to spend my life trying please others so I can receive more followers on Instagram. I realize that behavior is toxic. If I am always wanting more followers, then no amount of followers would be good enough for me. Always wishing to have more followers is not a way I want to live my life. I want to be looked at as a person with a confident personality and a mind of her own, and not just another pretty face. I have changed the way I see Instagram to a way for me to express my art and personality. This is the way I look at modeling as well. I don’t see it as a way for other people to be attracted to me. I see it as a way to express who I am through pictures and videos. I am a person. Not a model with 18.4k followers on Instagram.