As I am still attending college next semester to fulfill my credits for my bachelors' degree, I will have finished my last Communications class this semester. What a joy it has been to be invested in a study that allows me to open my mind and realize how important it is to communicate with those around me.
Sure, from a young age, we are taught how to communicate what we need, what we want, what we are feeling, and how to express ourselves through multiple channels. But, as a communication professional, I've become aware of the depths that it takes to do such an obvious task. I'd love to reflect on what I have learned and maybe pass along some insight and knowledge!
People are complicated, simple as that. But what is more complicated is not knowing how to speak or act with those who are different from us. Yes, that is a broad statement because everyone is different, and what I mean are those around who are from different countries or a different culture, or just an overall background. For me, I find this important to know because I love traveling and meeting new people, and the last thing I'd want to happen would be offending someone because of what I verbally or non-verbally say. My first source of insight is knowing.
Knowledge is key to getting to realize what influences make up an individual; what kind of mannerisms are common, words that are miscommunicated, or hand gestures that are used differently. All of these things need to be taken into account to communicate as accurately as possible. One thing that is not going to help this process is assuming something about a person based on who they seem to be. As humans, first impressions are everything, but as I've learned, you cannot always judge a book by its cover because more times than not, you're wrong. Communication with those around us, familiar or not, should always begin with knowing and having a full understanding of their perspectives and world-view.
Becoming familiar with those around us creates bonds, for instance, relational bonds and this will make a personal impact as well as a communication impact. Consequently, relational communication was by far my favorite class that I took of all four years. I was able to familiarize myself with how well I already communicate with my friends, family, co-workers, and possible romantic partner(s), and how I can alter myself within each setting. Each group of people can be seen as a setting since I am basically 4 versions of myself.
I do not communicate with my family members the same way I do with my friends. There are boundaries that are set up by everyone based on whose company is present. I found this concept to be quite interesting and helpful to understanding who I am as a person. Based on my communicative behavior in each setting, I am able to alter my positive and negative qualities to enhance how I am best perceived within each of them. Without this clarification and perspective, this may cause conflicts due to what I may say or do with different people. Too many times there have been individuals that do not familiarize themselves with this, which will cause that conflict.
Speaking of conflicts, this is something that I found valuable in my college career. Being in a conflict and figuring out a way to either negotiate within it or mediate one, has taken my relationships to another level. I've realized that not every conflict needs to be resolved as it is happening and that everyone is different with how they like negotiating their thoughts. Like the first point about knowledge and understanding, this is something that may need to apply here as well as in a relational setting a conflict is present in.
It's crucial to know how your conflicting party may handle a situation because this will ease the solution process. For example, I found that my best friend is dominant in her conflict/negotiation style, where she needs to figure out the solution right then and there and she's in control. But for me, my conflict/negotiation style is either compromising or avoidance, and neither one is right or wrong (I've learned ways to cope with how to get around these two styles and fit my conflicting issues). While my best friend is dominating, and I am compromising, it's beneficial to find a happy medium and know what style can work within each relational setting. I think the best way to figure these things out is working through different styles as conflicts happen until there is one that works with a certain person. I hate to say it, but treat it as a game and then keep adamant about that style every time something comes up.
Sure, these may be a little obvious to some and maybe these things have come to mind, but these are practices that I use every single day and give me insight on how to speak with people. I also love that each of these points can be put together to create such a profound understanding of communication. I believe that perspective is key in communication and by being respectful of that, it will generate a whole other meaning of interacting with individuals.
